We've always thought of Cosmopolitan as our reliably-slutty older sister. Where else would you find tips like "if you need more lubrication before he enters, wet your guy's member with your saliva?" (p. 129! I know, right? Geniuses!) But when we saw this photo, billed on the cover as "The Naughtiest Photo We've Ever Run Of A Guy," we were a little... hey, come to think of it, Cosmo editors, is there a female version of "blue-balls"?

Thankfully, Cosmo only meant "naughtiest" in the "we are lying, why don't you try and sue us over it?" sense of the word. After the jump, a verrrryy steamy photo from the Cosmo vault.

It's Burt Reynolds, circa Cosmo's April 1972 issue. He's never really been our type either, but there's something kinda Regal Beagle-y you'd totally go home with after a few too many Alabama Slammers or whatever they drank on the Love Boat, plus he'd never notice if you hadn't shaved in a month and a half because you'd be so busy navigating his own fur.

10:10 AM on Mon May 21 2007
By Moe
7,606 views
10 comments

Comments

perio at 03:29 PM on 05/21/07
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The pic of Burt Reynolds showed up in this years SI Swimsuit Issue. Too bad they didn't retouch Burt's pelt as much as Beyonce's.
kim at 05:45 PM on 05/21/07
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Ugh, I saw that Burt Reynolds business when I was a wee gel and my babysitter bought Cosmo. It's probably the reason I love androgynous men today.
MyThighsRHot4GoatFelons at 06:00 PM on 05/21/07
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Oh, Jaysus, Mardy and Josef! I have to disagree with you, Kim. Saw that centerfold at the age of 12 and have loved me the furry chested/legged men ever since. Burt on one side, Tom Selleck on the other...a gal could stay warm for HOURS. *sigh*
Stick It In Your Eye at 06:10 PM on 05/21/07
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@kim: I saw that Burt Reynolds business today and it's probably the reason I will love androgynous men henceforth... Why, Cosmo? Whyyyyy?
brechtgirl at 06:49 PM on 05/21/07
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Whatever, even though Mr. Burt Reynolds isn't my type either, he's still a more welcome sight than the International Male catalog model Cosmo tries to pass off as enticing now.
yourfriendandneighbor at 09:33 PM on 05/21/07
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Is it wrong that I want to rub my nose in his chest hair?
mamacita at 11:28 PM on 05/21/07
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Aw, why not the Hasselhoff spread?
hellodarling! at 11:29 PM on 05/21/07
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Please, they show more scandalous shots in their other issues, and they call him the "Guy of the Month" or something like that.

Cosmo, you tease.
LooseLips at 08:17 PM on 05/22/07
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I'm totally cool with this guy's package. I'd be happy if he was standing above me in my bed dancing in his undies.
mellybelle at 12:56 AM on 05/23/07
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I'm into the Burt Reynolds picture. Sans moustache, he would be probably seem less astonishingly hairy.

What I'm really concerned about here is the penis placement. Where is it? Is it getting smashed? How does it fit so neatly behind his arm?