10 Delightful Nonalcoholic Drinks for Anyone Having a Sober Summer

The rumors are true. I’ve been at the club/bar/hot spot without an ounce of alcohol in my system and lived to tell the tale. In fact, I’ve not only lived, I’ve loved. I’m coming up to two years of not drinking alcohol and I have to say, not ever having a hangover tastes better than any spritzer could.

What’s lucky about my booze-free lifestyle is that it is coinciding with a booze-free renaissance in the drinks industry. Lo, we’re in the golden age of seltzers! The bevvie aisles in bodegas are stocked with flavored waters, probiotic sodas, and zero alcohol content beers. Even just in my two years of being the designated driver, the variety of fun drinks available to me has skyrocketed. No longer does a night out mean eight Diet Cokes (that’s a night in, am I right, ladies?) but bars and restaurants are giving me non-alcoholic options. And I’ve tried so, so many of them.

So if you’re looking to have a sober summer or just scale back on the amount of $18 watered down cocktails draining your bank account, here are my favorite non-alcoholic beverages to knock back.

My working theory is that, more than people crave an alcoholic beverage at the end of a long day, they crave a fancy little drink that makes them feel like a fancy little adult. What makes you feel more fancy than splashing “aromatic bitters” into a glass of seltzer with an eye dropper like you’re a professional mixologist? Few things.
Rating: 9 out of 10 cheers to the weekends

This drink has spiritually transformed me. People clock the clear beverage and mistakenly think it’s going to be sweet like an alcoholic seltzer. They are wrong. Hoppy refreshers (or hop water in general) taste like adult seltzers, but in an earthy and grounding way, rather than a syrupy way. They are genuinely refreshing and a drink you want to savor.
Rating: 10 out of 10 heavy machines you can still operate

First, let’s pause to admire the design of this bottle. Exquisite. It reminds me of a little alien spaceship beaming down to rescue me from loads of boring NA beverages. Not only do Phony Negronis look funky and cool, they taste great—and pretty darn close to the original. They’re perfectly bitter and have the kick that so many NA drinks seem to miss. However, I’ll note that I can only have one of these bad boys a night, otherwise my tummy starts to hurt a bit.
Rating: 8 out of 10 cute bartenders

Hard to believe you could be having as much fun as Peloton instructor Kendall Toole at a spon-con party, but you actually can when you’re drinking Heineken 0.0. It’s my favorite of the NA beers: crisp, light, and still flavorful. Plus, there’s no after taste and (sorry to be TMI) it doesn’t make me gassy.
Rating: 0.0? More like 10 out of 10!

Ooo, baby! Mix this Garden 108 with tonic water (elderflower tonic water, if you’re feeling crazy), squeeze a little lime in, and you’ve got yourself a proper mocktail. NA spirits can sometimes taste too watered down but this one has a surprisingly fresh bite.
Rating: 9 out of 10 frilly garnishes

Let me tell you: There was a period of lockdown where the only joy in my week was trekking to a fancy bodega half a mile away to buy eight of these. I would space them out to recreate any semblance of pleasure and normalcy, savoring each sip like it was a little moment in heaven. Dark stuff. However, post-lockdown, I’ve found that I still enjoy these just as much—and I don’t even need the uncertainty of the world bearing down on me. This seltzer has a complex flavor that isn’t too sweet. It has loads of new age-y ingredients like adaptogens and CBD, and while I can’t really tell you what those do, I can tell you that it tastes great!
Rating: 8 out of 10 sips to savor

Sweetie, go walk into your kitchen right now and pull out the bottle of that you use once a month to make salad dressings. Toss approximately two capfuls of it into a glass of seltzer water and you’ve got yourself a damn good drink. I would know: I have one of these tangy bubbly delights every damn evening!

Not only does ACV help with gut health, but it’s full of our health obsession from 2007: antioxidants. Those are still good right? I think so.
Rating: 10 out of 10 girls night outs.

Tepache is a fermented Mexican drink made from pineapple rinds and a mix of spices. The fermentation means it isn’t fully non alcoholic, but it has a very low alcohol content—like kombucha. I personally love De La Calle canned tepache. It’s a little spicy so you won’t be able to chug it, but it is tasty enough to want to!
Rating: 10 out of 10 personal beaches or whatever it is Corona promises you

The best way for me to describe these is that they taste like adult fruit juice. They’re sweet, but not overwhelmingly so. I wish they had a bit more of a bite, but they’re still very tasty, like a grapefruit shandy. Imagine yourself cracking one of these open at a beach happy hour or cookout over a summer holiday weekend. Heaven!!!
Rating: 7 out of 10 satisfying fizzes.

The name says it all: bitters and soda, on the go. And you actually can take these on the go because you’re allowed to drink these and drive! The world is your oyster, life is a highway, etc etc.
Rating: 9 out of 10 satisfied ahhhhhs