CNN Pretty Sure Jimmy Fallon Has Some Kind of Problem, But That's None of Their Business…

While it’s impossible to tell exactly what the reporters of CNN might be implying about Fallon to the naked eye—the reporter wrapping herself in bubble wrap toward the end is both distracting and confounding—those of us trained to read between the lines (count how many times Jäger is mentioned) can almost grasp what they’re subtly insinuating in their coverage of his injuries.

“Jimmy Fallon has been laughing off so many falls, you have to wonder…”

“He reached into the crowd for a bottle of Jägermeister, a prop perhaps.”

“He’s like I need another bottle of Jäger. I’m fine everybody, I just need more Jäger.”

“Although his most recent fall didn’t cause serious injury, Jimmy’s dignity is suffering. He’s been declared the new President Ford.”

::Jeanne Moos wraps herself in bubble wrap. Almost as if she were under the influence of some substance other than just life::

But what could it all mean? What’s CNN really worried about? And will they be staging some kind of meeting with Fallon to discuss his many falls? You have to wonder…