Divorce is never easy, but it’s particularly hard when you listen to too much Postal Service and dress in twee ensembles. Underling says:
The divorce of Zooey and Not The Guy From Owl City, But The Other One From Postal Service has officially heralded the death of Hipster Irony.
Official cause of death was listed as Listening to Journey — Unironically. In lieu of gifts, mourners are requested to submit donations to the Vintage T-shirt Museum. Flags will be flown half-mast in Williamsburg, and all Lucky Strike bowling alleys will observe a moment of silence after the fifth frame. Also, all drummers with beards are requested to refrain from receiving fellatio for 24 hours in remembrance.
Private services will be for friends and family, and will be attended by a choir singing the greatest hits of the Kings of Leon. In observance, the sitcom “2 Broke Girls” was immediately canceled and replaced by a series about an emotionally broken NYPD detective who finds hope in the family he is forced to return to.
Hipster Irony is survived by family members including Irreverence, Topicality, and Trucker Hat, although the last remains on life support at Mount Sinai Hospital.
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