In addition to getting “food with integrity,” you can now add “having sex on the roof” as one of the only possible reasons to ever set foot in a Chipotle.
In shocking news that will disturb you and your closest loved ones, it appears as though yes, Delaware still exists as a state. Also, some random people had sex on top of a Chipotle restaurant in Newark. Via Steve Beck at CBS News :
According to investigators, officers with the Newark Police Department were called to scene after receiving multiple reports of a male and female having sex on the roof of the restaurant.
When an officer arrived, he was on the opposite side of the street and clearly observed the couple engaging in sexual intercourse on the roof at the very front of the Chipotle building.
If you think public sex is gross and disturbing, it’s nothing compared to what Chipotle puts in their “guac.” Or that people call that product “guac.” Here’s a list of places the couple turned down before settling on Chipotle in Delaware:
- The backseat of a car that was on fire
- The inside of a rotting whale carcass
- The basement of a Taco Bell in New Jersey
Michael Suh and Nicole Germack are facing a ton of charges stemming from the incident, including resisting arrest, lewdness, indecent exposure, loitering and conspiracy. CONSPIRACY.
“Convicted of conspiracy to get it on at a Chipotle” is exactly what I want on my headstone, for the record. You can’t even #YOLO that shit, because Twitter would have a collective mental breakdown at the very thought of having your naked sex parts near a Chipotle.
Image via Wikipedia.