E. Jean Carroll Likens Trump to ‘Walrus,’ ‘Rhino,’ and ‘Nothing’

On Friday, the second defamation trial between former President Donald Trump and journalist and author E. Jean Carroll concluded with a civil jury’s determination that Trump had, in fact, defamed Carroll, and ordered him to fork over more than $83 million.

That staggering sum was nearly 10 times what Carroll’s legal team asked for (about $10 million), and Trump responded in kind on Truth Social: “Absolutely ridiculous! I fully disagree with both verdicts, and will be appealing this whole Biden Directed Witch Hunt focused on me and the Republican Party. Our Legal System is out of control, and being used as a Political Weapon,” he wrote. “They have taken away all First Amendment Rights. THIS IS NOT AMERICA!”

Fortunately, in Carroll’s America, not only is Trump about to be out quite a bit of money, but he continues to get dragged to hell by the woman to whom it’s been awarded. In a new interview with Rachel Maddow, Carroll deliciously likened Trump to a “walrus snorting,” a “rhino flopping his hands,” and somehow, most cuttingly, “nothing.”

“Together, this team of brilliant young people have, as you said, stood up to the man, who, by the way, Rachel, is not even there. He’s nothing,” Carroll said, sitting between her attorneys, Roberta Kaplan and Shawn Crowley. “He is without—he is like a walrus snorting and like a rhino flopping his hands.”

When prompted about her mindset before the trial, Carroll shared that she was overwhelmed by nerves: “Three, four days before trial, I had an actual breakdown,” Carroll recalled, referring to herself as “just a bag of sweating corpuscles.” “I lost my ability to speak, I lost my words, I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t go on…That’s how frightened I was.”

And yet, as soon as the trial—which saw powerful testimony from Carroll—was underway, she realized there was actually very little to be nervous about (apart from Trump’s new orange coif, of course).

“Amazingly, I looked out, and he was nothing,” Carroll said to Maddow of her testimony. “He was nothing. He was a phantom. It was the people around him who were giving him power. He himself was nothing.” Whew! Who among us hasn’t had this exact fantasy of facing down the worst men we know?

Though Trump won’t have to pay Carroll until after he attempts to appeal the verdict, Carroll said she already has an idea of what she’ll do with her $83 million: “I’d like to give the money to something Donald Trump hates,” Carroll told Good Morning America on Monday. “If it’ll cause him pain for me to give money to certain things, that’s my intent.”

To Maddow, she got a little more specific: “We’re going to get completely new wardrobes, new shoes, motorcycle for Crowley, new fishing rod for Robby [Kaplan]…” she said, before offering a trip to France to Maddow, herself.

If there were any occasion to say it, it’s now: That’s Mother™!