Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons Are Suddenly Engaged, and I'm Suddenly Elated

By Bobby Finger  |  January 11, 2017 | 2:55pm
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By my count, three good things have happened this year: 1) Moonlight won Best Picture (Drama) at the Golden Globes, 2) I found $5 in the pocket of a coat I hadn’t worn since last winter, and 3) Fargo co-stars Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons got engaged.

Though I’m sure this is exciting for them, it’s almost certainly more exciting for me—someone who is probably among the top 100 to 150 Dunst fans (we call ourselves Kirstans) on the planet—as I’ve received plenty of joy looking at photos of the two of them as a couple over the past few months.

She has frankly never looked happier than when photographed alongside Plemons (not even in her character poster for Eternal Sunshine, which smiled at me from my college dorm room), and I have never looked happier than I did upon reading The Good News when it was texted to me by Jezebel Deputy Editor Kate Dries last night.

How nice. How good.

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Authorities have reportedly told Kim Kardashian that “there’s virtually no chance of retrieving” the diamonds stolen from her last year, and apparently TMZ finds this surprising.

They write:

“The cops say most diamonds the size of Kim’s are immediately shipped off to Antwerp’s diamond district in Belgium and then quickly disappear.

If you find yourself with a surplus of stolen diamonds and need to unload them before the heat comes knocking on your door, you head to Antwerp’s diamond district in Belgium. Everybody knows that.

[TMZ]

Andrew Garfield explained his stunt gay kiss with Ryan Reynolds to Steven Colbert, after which he gave the world another stunt gay kiss. Lovely.

[R29]

“In the upcoming movie “Mary Magdalene” Rooney Mara plays the title character, with Joaquin Phoenix as Jesus Christ.”

I get it.

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