The radiant and hilarious Kirstie Alley may actually have a job. ABC is ordering a pilot of The Manaznis, a “family comedy” that’s described as a “new take on Roseanne.” Kirstie plays a “very opinionated” wife and mother in a family that moves to a repressed country-club town. What does that mean exactly? Class wars? Cultural conflicts? Making fun of WASPs? Pearl-clutching? Could be good. Does a 60-year-old woman have a chance in primetime? [Deadline Hollywood]
The fragrance Kim Kardashian will wear on her wedding day is a Kim Kardashian fragrance, and it’s for sale, obviously. [Us Magazine]
Kim Kardashian‘s wedding will air on E! in October, and will be a two-part special that will last four hours. FOUR HOURS. [EW]
Courtney Love got drunk while shopping and then crossed the street while the light was red and almost got hit by a car. [INF]
Demi Lovato looks amazing in photographs for the September issue of Elle, and she discusses her meltdown that led to her entering a treatment facility: “When you punch someone on a plane, enough is enough,” she says. “I was completely out of line all summer… Just the worst attitude — totally ungrateful.” But “I wouldn’t credit my meltdown to a guy. There was so much other stuff in my life.”Also, the publicist who said that the marks on Demi’s wrists were imprints from gummy bracelets has been fired. [E!, Elle]
BREAKING: Gwyneth Paltrow admits she is lame. [NYDN via Elle]
- Kings Of Leon‘s management firm is trying to remove YouTube clips of the band’s show in Dallas last week. That’s the one during which lead singer Caleb Followill left the stage, telling the audience “I’m gonna go backstage and I’m gonna vomit.” Then he disappeared and did not return. Rolling Stone‘s Matthew Perpetua explains that the firm might be “attempting to obscure evidence that could lead insurers to believe that Followill was drunk rather than exhausted.” [Rolling Stone]
- While talking about smoking on The View, Katie Couric said, “I’m not gonna castrate Miley Cyrus, but…” She meant castigate? Maybe? [E!]
- Jennifer Hudson sang for President Barack Obama last night at a fundraiser on the eve of his 50th birthday. [CBS News]
- Piers Morgan may need to go to London to answer questions in the newspaper phone hacking investigation. [AP]
- Heather Mills is accusing the Mirror of listening to her voicemails while she was with Paul McCartney. She claims a journalist called her and “started quoting verbatim the messages from my machine.” Ugh. [AFP]
- Feud of the day: Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen thinks Sean Penn is a “loser.” [E!]
- Has Kate Plus 8 been canceled? [Perez]
- You know how 16-year-old Courtney Stodden is married to 51-year-old Doug Hutchinson? Courtney’s mom says of Doug: “He’s not creepy.” Are you sure? Look again. [Radar]
- Hugh Hefner planking just looks like Hugh Hefner passed out. [Perez]
- “I can tell you that I never touched [my husband] physically. It was a different type of marriage. That’s all I want to say about it. I’m the kind of person who can be with a man for years and never touch him. My mind is not wired that way. I don’t need that kind of thing. People need sex, but I don’t … I have zero sexual interest.” — Thanks, Nadya Suleman. [NYDN]
- “When I was 19 I was drinking… I was at a bar and I had a few drinks and I thought, ‘You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to leave my car here, be responsible.’ I started to walk home and I was hit by a drunk driver. …I broke every bone in my left side. I woke up three days later. And I remember my dad sitting there [with] a vomit tray. I guess I had been heaving in my unconscious. And nothing says love like painting someone with three-day-old Gin Rummies. Just soaked the man head to toe in my vomit.” — Ryan Reynolds. [Us Magazine]
- A teacher wants to teach. I mean, why else would you take a shitty salary and really long hours and do that job unless you really love to do it?” — Matt Damon. More in a video at the link. [NYDN]