Moby's Book Tour Is Officially Canceled

By Joan Summers  |  May 30, 2019 | 2:10pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag
Moby's Book Tour Is Officially Canceled
Photo:Getty

Richard Melville Hall, a.k.a. Moby, a.k.a. “The Man. As in, stick it to The Man,” has canceled his upcoming book tour. He issued a Instagram press release to accompany the announcement that reads like a recently dragged Tumblr teen: “I’m going away for a while, but before I do I want to apologize again, and to say clearly that all of this has been my own fault.”

But are we really surprised by any of this? Lizzie Grant warned us when she described Moby as “the person they guillotine in the revolution.” He didn’t take the hint! After the press began covering his second(?) memoir, Then It Fell Apart, they noticed a strange characterization concerning his “relationship” with a then-18 year old Natalie Portman. The backlash was swift. Moby doubled down on his claims despite comments Portman offered Harper’s Bazaar, in which she said:

“I was surprised to hear that he characterized the very short time that I knew him as dating because my recollection is a much older man being creepy with me when I just had graduated high school. He was on tour and I was working, shooting a film, so we only hung out a handful of times before I realized that this was an older man who was interested in me in a way that felt inappropriate.”

Again: she was 18! Moby later apologized, claiming that “that many of the criticisms leveled at me regarding my inclusion of Natalie in Then It Fell Apart are very valid.” Whether or not he believe they dated is unclear.

His official website now reads:

“moby is canceling all upcoming public appearances for the foreseeable future. we apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. all tickets will be refunded at the point of purchase, and moby is happy to provide signed bookplates to everyone who bought tickets to these events.”

The purposeful non-capitalization only strengthens my case that he writes like a teen fan fiction author.

[Page Six]

Following the controversy surrounding her fallout with Khloé Kardashian over serial cheater Tristan Thompson, Jordyn Woods has landed an acting gig! The former Red Table Talk guest and eyelash entrepreneur will guest star on season 2 of Freeform’s grown-ish.

People reports:

Woods is scheduled to appear later in the season and will portray a freshman student named Dee, a “sweet soul with a soft-spoken and sincere vulnerability.” The star will most likely be sharing most of her scenes with star Trevor Jackson, who plays Aaron, the RA of Hawkins Dorm.

grown-ish premieres June 5th, and it’s currently unclear how hefty this guest-starring role will be. But I have to give her credit for branching out of the niche the Kardashians are often trapped inside. As a member of the Fit Tea Federation, your options are consist of selling repackaged makeup, shilling weight suppressant lollipops, or becoming a lawyer. A guest-starring role on a hit cable show is certainly a better career trajectory than anyone could have imagined! As for the Kardashians, Khloe has appeared on Law & Order: SVU. Kim’s acting career is much more prolific: Drop Dead Diva, Beyond The Break, Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, and Deep in the Valley.

Never forget: A degree on the wall means nothing without labels on your back! And as for breathing? Hervé Leger doesn’t know her.

[People]

Mandy Moore has once again teamed up with Eddie Bauer, a brand that still exists, on her climb to the Mount Everest base camp. She’s previously scaled Mount Kilimanjaro with the brand? Queen of sponcon!

Please look at this brand new Ariana Grande wax figure. I personally thought it was Shailene Woodley but am accepting suggestions in the comments below!