Speaking a Second Language Could Keep You from Getting Dementia
LatestWait, speaking multiple languages keeps your brain young? Goddamnit. The closest I ever came to learning a second language is that my mom speaks passable Norwegian when she’s drunk (I suppose I’m glad my childhood wasn’t one long Drunkmomwegian immersion program), which means that I am impenetrably, painfully monolingual. Plus I’m 30 years old at this point, so it’s unlikely I’ll ever master anything more complicated than the instructions for my Jack LaLanne Juicer. (Although I DID get straight As in high school Spanish, so if you guys want to come over and watch Destinos with me, I can hella keep you current on Ramón, Carlos, y Juan. Y Mercedes.)
But now, when it’s too late to fix myself because I am no longer a sponge-brained genius-baby—NOW I find out that being an English-only simpleton has repercussions beyond just accidentally ordering a weird yak sausage doused in flaming lamp oil because you can’t read the menu??? (True story.) GODDAMNIT. Goddamnit, I say.