Speedo USA announced Monday that they have decided to end their longtime sponsorship of disgraced (?) Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte after his tale of being robbed at gunpoint in Rio de Janeiro was revealed to have been an exceedingly tall one.
In a statement, the purveyors of teeny tiny swimwear said:
“While we have enjoyed a winning relationship with Ryan for over a decade and he has been an important member of the Speedo team, we cannot condone behavior that is counter to the values this brand has long stood for.”
The company also plans to “donate a $50,000 portion of Lochte’s fee to Save the Children, a global charity partner of Speedo USA’s parent company, for children in Brazil.”
Below are a few examples of the types of photographs Speedo will no longer be spending money on.
This photo of Ryan Lochte wondering what SPF stands for:
This photo of Ryan wondering if this looks gay:
This photo of Ryan wondering what breed of dog hot dogs are made from:
This photo of Ryan being distracted by a sexy lady. Or maybe a fast car! Or a bird!
This photo of Ryan wondering what it would be like to have one that thick:
This photo of Ryan wondering if vegans are allowed to “say cheese” :
This is an artist wondering what the inside of Ryan’s brain looks like:
This photo of Ryan wondering why women don’t respond well to his kissy faces:
This photo of Ryan wondering if men lactate:
And this photo of Ryan Lochte thinking about all the “valuable lessons” he’s learned this past week.
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
