Times Square hallmark Robert Burck, 46, also known as the Naked Cowboy, was born in Cincinnati, loves Donald Trump, wears underpants around everywhere, ran for president in 2012 as a member of the Tea Party, and thinks he is sexy.
Do you agree? With the last thing?
The Naked Cowboy is nearly hairless, except for on his head, eyebrows, chin, and legs, which grow less hair than mine. He has big muscles everywhere that muscles can get big. His skin, judging by these photos of him standing in the snow in his underpants, is as thick as buffalo hide. He also reportedly makes $150K per year. These are just facts about the Naked Cowboy. Here are some more data points to consider as you make your decision:
“I have an affinity with Trump. I get him,” the Naked Cowboy, who’s been making a lot of appearances in Trump Tower, recently told The New Yorker’s Andrew Marantz. He went on:
“We’re both media promoters, media whores, whatever you want to call it. People get hung up on political stuff, but I don’t care. Black, white, gay, transvestite—just stand up and make something of yourself. Look, my wife’s a Mexican immigrant. She still doesn’t have her papers. Maybe she’ll be the next to be deported, who knows? I don’t think he’d do that. But if he does, hey, that’s fate. Plus, it’s a nice thing to have hanging over her head—you know, ‘Do the dishes, or else.’”
Let me just get this out of the way: this was one of our most unanimous Would U exercises, a real feat, considering we have debated Ted Cruz, the CEO of Arby’s, and Terry Dubrow from Botched. No one on Jezebel’s staff, including myself, would have sex with the Naked Cowboy. (Deadspin’s Ashley Feinberg would, which hardly counts.)
Aimee: Jesus fucking Christ no.
Kelly Stout: Absolutely not.
Stassa: Never.
Madeleine: Does he have an aeropress?