2024 Grammys Red Carpet: Music’s Biggest Stars Dress Loud

Welcome to Jezebel’s coverage of the 66th Annual Grammy Awards red carpet—the little preamble to the music-making and merriment that will take place inside Los Angeles’ prestigious and storied Crypto.com Arena. This year’s awards are set to include both guaranteed and possible history-making moments: Joni Mitchell will be making her Grammy performance debut at the age of 80; Taylor Swift could potentially win her fourth Album of the Year award, ousting Stevie Wonder and Frank Sinatra as the record holders for most Album of the Year wins (each with three albums); and Tracy Chapman will make a rare public performance dueting her iconic lesbian anthem “Fast Car” with *checks notes* Luke Combs.

Trevor Noah is hosting for the fourth time, so I anticipate the humor will be tastefully light and unremarkable. Billie Eilish, Victoria Monét, Kylie Minogue, SZA, and Phoebe Bridgers already won Grammys in the pre-telecast ceremony, so we’re off to a strong start.

Personally, I’m buckling up for the Record of the Year category (a stupidly confusing name for what is essentially Best Song) which has Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, Lana del Rey, Janelle Monáe, boygenius, Miley Cyrus, SZA, and Jon Baptiste all vying for the title. Save for Baptiste, this lineup is a real who’s who on the sapphic Kinsey scale.

Instead of getting swallowed up by the Sunday scaries, join us as we gawk and guffaw at all the silks and leathers draped on our favorite pop stars.

Voulez vous coucher avec moi—padam!

The only thing more delightful than being pretty in pink is being pretty and comfy in pink.

What’s this at her navel? A rose? Skull and crossbones? Serpent? Dragon? I could go on...

I might be off but I think Salt Bae (of 2017 memedom fame) wears this exact same outfit.

Rufus has a little bit of everything going on with this outfit. I especially love the shoes that I think I wore to my first tap recital!

I simply cannot believe this woman gave birth to a baby one month ago. The fact that she is out of the house in heels and sequins? 10/10.

Milk maiden core with Ms. Beer, here. This dress does look sort of like a fitted sheet...which is stressful.

Am I right to assume that she’s about to change into an Oscar the Grouch costume?

Can’t help but think of the frag-i-le lamp from Christmas Story. Of course, thoughts and prayers for whoever is sitting behind this fabulous hat.

I love how some women can show up to events like this wearing a throw blanket and look more stunning than I will on my wedding day.

Wearing a gramophone to the Grammys! Now I’ve seen everything!

The dress and the pose remind me of those internet fashion dolls you got to dress up in the early aughts.

Techno-Scottish-spaceman-military general with a tasteful block heel!

Get this woman in the next remake of Hocus Pocus STAT! (Complimentary!)

This jacket looks like one of those pillows that, if you brush it with your hand in a certain direction, it changes colors!

In the sense that Taylor’s hair looks like she was watching a tutorial on a flapper-inspired hairdo but then gave up halfway—yes, she is relatable!

If anyone could nail the look of Holy First Communion at the Church of Unrepentant Satanists, it would be Lana.

Of course, I’m left wondering if the flower is where she holds all of her secrets. Or perhaps where she stashes some mid-ceremony snacks.

Double-breasted, quadruple-winged jacket! He makes having a bug land on you look beautiful.

Ice Spice in Baby Phat might be so cosmically aligned that it heals the entire world.

A little salt and pepper on this chartreuse moment...tasty!

That little pillbox purse looks like the melatonin I no longer need to take after looking at this sleepy little number.

Like boygenuis, Busta Rhymes’ suit is looking a little couch cushion-like...albeit a much more comfortable one.

And the Prom queen of the Grammy’s goes to....Paris! Looking blonde and boring as ever.

Sparkly tulle and strappy satin—I actually am into this sultry frock despite it being a mashup of like five different fabrics.

It’s giving “whelmed.” Not over, not under, just “whelmed.” Great Twilight book cover red lip, though!

Like Bella Baxter’s madame in Poor Things! I don’t hate this outfit but similarly to Doja Cat herself, there are a lot of different energies emanating from it.

Thoughtful of Ed to dress in camouflage so I can look past this boring outfit!!!

Whew! This dress has pierced my heart. Gorgeous. Divine. May it launch a thousand misunderstood teen’s Tumblr posts tonight.

The colors on this are exquisite and the whole outfit looks like some precious sedimentary rock formation. I love it.

Would’ve loved to see him dress up a bit more for the occasion even if I do respect his constantly-casual M.O.

This dress is both botanical and astrological. Lovely. Though, if I’m being nit-picky, I wish we couldn’t see her bra straps! But I get it. The girls won’t always hold themselves up.

Navy and black—risky! Perhaps the only time Noah Kaham has been described that way!

If you ignore that these two look like they had to time travel from different decades to be standing next to one another this evening, you can simply appreciate the subtle matching as well as Peso Pluma’s excellent outfit details.

Disastrous high wire act! Ill-fitting at all angles! Pass!

This looks like an incredible craft project that made great use of all of Dua’s old gum wrappers! On the upside, she looks ready to go to battle tonight if need be.

I love the matching look and even the cut of the suits but I wish the fabric didn’t look like my grandma’s couch covered in protective plastic. Can’t fully relax around that vibe, ya know?

Fantasia looks fantastic and the gloves alone are hypnotizing. I could do without the lip jewelry but that is because I, personally, would be chewing on it all night.

An understated look from Ms. Cyrus! Lol jk. We’ve got Medusa, Aphrodite, and Cleopatra all rolled into one with this get-up. The velvet Tabis will do me in.

Unfortunately, these colors will never not remind me of my 2005 Wet Seal phase. This isn’t Brandi’s fault, but I just can’t get on board. Love the bowtie though.

Victoria looks statuesque and I am in awe at the ribbed bodice boning. Gorgeous.

Billie is managing to make a Barbie letterman jacket look goth. Impressive!

A nice Betty Boop-esque dress with matching lip...and nails...and bracelet.

There he is. Jack Antonoff. In a suit. Holding his glasses. About all I can say about that!

Little Bo Peep and her gaggle of Camden hipster sheep.

Ooh la la! Very Shangri-La! Molly can go right from the ceremony to the Disney Channel Original Movies’ casting office and book a role as the kooky older sister.

A boombox purse for the Grammys? Groundbreaking.

Let’s just say that Ted Danson is so charmingly handsome that just seeing him puts me in the good place :).

I can’t decide if this is giving Couture Uterus or Haunted Menstrual Forest—either way, consider me a fan!

Esperanza with the accessory of the evening, a Palestinian keffiyeh, and her signature “Life Force” shirt that she wears on the reg.