At Least Crickets and Tumbleweed Are Having a Good Time at the Great American State Fair
Unfortunately, we’re only on Day 6 of the 16-day celebration—and we have about five days of more bullshit before the official America 250 celebration commences on Saturday.
Photo: Unsplash Trump Administration freedom 250
Festivities for Trump’s Great American State Fair in Washington, D.C. continued this weekend—though you wouldn’t know it, given crowds have been about as sparse as Riley Gaines’ big ol’ wall of trophies.
The weekslong celebration leading up to the 4th of July originally began Wednesday, with Alexis Wilkins’ lackluster rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner”—a gig she swears she didn’t get because she happens to be dating the director of the FBI—and a 30-minute speech by Trump.
“As you know very well, a short time ago, we were a dead country,” he said. “Now, we’re the hottest country anywhere in the world.” (I’ll say.) “We’re respected by everybody. Nobody’s laughing at us anymore.”
Sure, Jan. But no need to point and laugh—the jokes of the fair have been writing themselves, with pictures emerging of empty fairgrounds, meager crowds, and flop performances. There’s also been various unfortunate technical issues, such as the Ferris wheel being shut down and an entire shipment of ice cream melting. Oh, and at one point, a cow named Melania made an appearance. (Per the students that brought her, the name was meant to be a patriotic homage and seemed like a “good idea” because the cow shares the same hair color as the First Lady.)
It was called Freedom 250 because that’s how many people went.
— Middle Age Riot (@middleageriot.bsky.social) June 28, 2026 at 3:04 PM
The festival has also run into various weather challenges, and on Sunday, it had to temporarily shut because of extreme heat and rain—an announcement that was published on a billboard misspelling the event as “Freeedom 250.” And Vanilla Ice, the MAGA-thumping rapper who was one of the THREE acts that actually stayed onboard after six others canceled, had to also give up on his show over the weekend because of bad weather. Rain, rain, baby.
Expectedly, Trump has not been handling the realities of his failed state fair well—and at around 6:30 a.m. on Monday rageposted his grievances. “Do you think people appreciate what a fantastic job we did in building and operating the Great American State Fair at the National Mall, packed with happy people, and everybody loving it?” he wrote. “Ask yourself this simple question, ‘DO YOU THINK THAT OBUMA OR SLEEPY JOE BIDEN COULD HAVE DONE IT?” THE ANSWER IS NO!” (Grammar mistakes his, not ours.) Clearly, he’s still haunted by the fact that Obama gathered bigger crowds for his inauguration than his own during Term 1.
Unfortunately, we’re only on Day 6 of the 16-day celebration—and we have about five days of more bullshit before the official America 250 celebration commences on Saturday.
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