Values Voters Would Love it if Ladies Could Refrain From Dressing Like Whores
LatestIn case you’re wondering why your guy who normally sells you ecstasy is plum out of pills, here’s why: it’s Values Voters Summit time. And at the Value Voters Summit, they’ve been handing out some helpful pamphlets about how ladies should maybe consider dressing less slutty, lest they drive men to madness with uncontrollable lust. “Go home and put some clothes on!” said a real thing in 2012 that wasn’t a joke.
This weekend, gay marriage hatin’, embryo-lovin’, sex shunnin’, g-droppin’ social conservatives gather together for their annual convention where they talk about how everything’s going to shit and how America needs more Jesus. But not, like, hippie Jesus who loves poor people and hangs out with hookers and the downtrodden and turns the other cheek and loves his neighbor as he loves himself. America Jesus. The Jesus who is totally cool with war but really doesn’t like strappy tank tops.