A Very Special Real Housewives-Themed Dirt Bag

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Sunday, am I right? Let’s start with Kim Richards, who “doesn’t have a problem” but is checking into rehab, anyway.

The problem non-problem started whoo boy who even knows on April 16, when Kim was arrested for being “drunk in public” at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Given that almost everyone in L.A. is on some sort of substance in public at any given time, it takes a certain kind of intoxication—the kind that leads to locking yourself in a public restroom to avoid arrest kind of intoxication—to be booked under such a charge. I’m guessing, at least. And while I do sincerely hope this incident serves as a last straw of sorts for Richards to get the help she clearly needs, I won’t lie: rehab sounds kind of like a nice vacation. [Radar]

If you were planning on holding your breath for the 10-ish months Teresa Giudice has left of her prison term until you can see her back in her fabulicious glory on Dancing With the Stars, you can let it out now: she won’t be appearing on the reality show, reports a gossip website reporting on what another gossip website’s source said. Anyway, glad we got that cleared up! [Extra]

Kelly Bensimon and her tits were the toast of the town this weekend, where according to E!, she couldn’t stop her nips from slipping while engaged in a photo shoot for (? who even knows). But yeah, “nip slip”: I guess that’s what you’d call prancing around Manhattan in a sheer mesh top without a bra, right? (Those shoes, though: killer.) [E!]

•Looks like Honey Boo Boo will be an auntie again (but Mama June is none too pleased about being a “Gigi” a second time around). [Us Weekly]

Linda Thompson is supportive of Bruce Jenner’s transition—now—but says she “wouldn’t have married him” if she’d known about his “gender issue” when they first met. [Just Jared]

Suki Waterhouse and James Marsden are a pair of human beings who 1. may or may not be coupled, 2. like to eat dinner, independently or collectively, 3. look good when photographed together. [Just Jared]

•Meanwhile, here’s Bradley Cooper flanked by A-list pussy at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. [The Hollywood Reporter]

•Speaking of tacos, Gwyneth Paltrow likes the kind that appeared in Chef Michael Schelfo’s Instagram (and soon, in my neighboring neighborhood of Cambridge, Massachusetts, not to be confused with Boston, Massachusetts. Ya heard?). [Eater]

•And speaking of Boston, the trailer for Black Mass (filmed here! oh God I know so many New Yorkers reading this want to throw their computers out their windows right now and go ahead, it’s fine) legitimately scared the shit out of me. You’re good, Johnny Depp. You’re good.

Images via AP

Contact the author at karyn@jezebel.com

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