I mean, PROLLY, RITE. Who didn’t love She’s the Man. This whole Amanda Bynes arrest thingy is extremely upsetting. I don’t doubt that she’s going through some serious shit these days, but on the other hand, that dude who called the cops on her seems like an opportunistic garbage-bozo. And what twentysomething rich kid isn’t posting embarrassing crap on Twitter and smoking a ton of weed all day? What I’m saying is that I DON’T KNOW HER, so I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I hope that she figures out how to be okay, because I generally care about human beings and this whole situation is causing me a small ton of long-distance anxiety. Celebrities are so stressful!
Anyway, the judge set her free today so she could spread her wigs and fly. Ahem, wings.
You can watch a video of Bynes in court over here. (In case you missed it, she also shaved her head. It looks kinda good in her mugshot, IMO.) I know it’s patronizing and infantilizing, but I couldn’t help feeling a little relieved watching a Professional Grown-Up Lawyer stick up for her—like, it’s at least the illusion of civilization in the middle of all this bedlam. He also reportedly spotted her cab money for the ride home, so that was nice.
Bynes was released on her own recognizance with a strong warning from Manhattan Criminal Court judge that her bail will be sky high if she is rearrested. She had to ask her lawyer to spot her a $20 bill so she could catch a cab away from the courthouse media circus and over to the circus outside her apartment at West 47th and Eighth Avenue.
“She said, ‘You go quick. Lock the door and go quick,” said her driver, Mir A. Hossain of Jamaica, Queens.
“I asked her, ‘Why are all the people chasing us?’ and she didn’t say anything.”
As the cab arrived at her building, a throng of some 30 reporters and paparazzi followed as it made its way slowly down into the garage. The cab was surrounded, and then Bynes was herself mobbed as she got out.
The fare was $27.
“I’m not upset about the seven dollar,” the cabby told reporters. “I’m happy, because she’s a famous lady.”
lololol I fucking love Frances Bean. Apparently she’s “feuding” with Kendall Jenner.
The feud began on Tuesday, May 21 when Keeping Up With the Kardashians star Jenner, 17, tweeted (via Gossip Cop), “Just wish things could be easier sometimes mann.”
“Oh shh. There are kids on earth abandoned & homeless who forcibly drink contaminated water because clean water isn’t accessible,” artist Cobain, 20, replied. “Oh ya, not to mention, CANCER, famine, poverty, draught, disease, natural disasters, Death. F—-, Humans are so self involved . . . I’d like to thank my parents for providing me with a high IQ & I’d like to thank my grams for encouraging me not to be a self absorbed idiot.”
Model Jenner deleted her initial tweet, and didn’t immediately respond to Cobain. But on Thursday night, she decided to fire back.
“An individuals feelings are relative to their environment. you don’t know me, you don’t even know what I was referring to,” she wrote (via Gossip Cop), which she later deleted. “I am aware that I am very privileged and blessed, and I’m thankful for that everyday. I know there are greater problems . . . in the world. I pray for those people every night and give back as much as I can. So who are you to judge me?”
Today in fuck earth, Chief Keef threatened to “smack the shit” out of Katy Perry because she mildly critiqued one of his songs, and then KATY PERRY IS THE ONE WHO DID THE APOLOGIZING.
Hey everyone, this is the wrong way to do literally everything about this thing. [DailyDot]
Oh my god, this fucking idiotic anti-minimum-wage thinktank yoinked Justin Bieber‘s face for their billboard: “Why is Justin Bieber so sad? Could it be because 24% of teens who want a job can’t find one?” [E!]
Ashton Kutcher says “the media” ruined Twitter. My bad. [E!]
Tyler Perry says he tried to save Whitney Houston‘s life, but it didn’t work out. [E!]
Tom Cruise had a hottie with a naughty body on his Ducati. [TMZ]
Is Kristen Stewart x-tremely lesbian now? Some irrelevant rando thinks so!!!!! [ShowbizSpy]
This painting of a topless, post-mastectomy Angelina Jolie will be auctioned for charity. [NYDN]
The worst people on earth vandalized Michael Clarke Duncan‘s grave. [NYPost]
