At Least You're Not This Zoo Worker Who Got Bitten By a Komodo Dragon

The workplace, for most of us, is full of passive aggression—coworkers who steal your lunch and so on—but for zoo workers, the workplace can be full of actual aggression, i.e. animals who bite you because they’ve mistaken you for their lunch.

One such incident happened in Omaha on Sunday to a nice, anonymous lady who was doing whatever zookeepers do when a Komodo fucking dragon decided to take a swipe at her. Which, I can only imagine, is a zoo employee’s worst nightmare.

The female worker was taken from the Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium to a hospital after the 12:30 p.m. incident. Later in the afternoon, the zoo said in a statement the worker had been released and should recover fully. The zoo said earlier media reports that the worker was critically injured were incorrect.

Assistant general curator Stephanie Huettner said the worker needed a couple stiches [sic] to close up the wound on her hand.

The dragon that bit the woman seemed like a bit of a newbie—just four feet long and ten pounds, which is tiny compared to how big Komodos can grow, which is ten feet in length and weigh over 300 pounds—but still, a real asshole of a newbie. I get that Komodo dragons are endangered and stuff, but if it were me, I’d take my healed, bandaged hand and hit the bricks.