Baseball Man Comes Off the Fuck List

By Megan Reynolds | November 4, 2019 | 8:39pm

Politics

What the fuck is this and why? Image: (Getty)

On Monday, World Series Champions the Washington Nationals visited the White House to be lauded with praise and adulation by President Trump. One of these baseball players, Washington Nationals catcher Kurt Suzuki, wore a Make American Great Again hat, which resulted in this nightmarish grope situation:

I do not profess to know anything about the political leanings of an entire baseball team, but I do know that my loins react negatively to this sort of display. The shutters are lowered; I am closed for business.

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Though I did declare that I would gladly sleep with an entire baseball team if only they would let me, I am amending my public desire thusly: Suzuki is off the fuck list, as are any other Nationals that attended this grotesque display of patriotism. The only members who can still catch it are those who abstained from these hideous proceedings, which included the third baseman Anthony Rendon (pretty hot), some outfield men (Michael A. Taylor, Victor Robles, and Wilmer Difo) and a trio of smart men who throw well (pitchers Joe Ross, Javy Guerra, and Wander Suero). Congratulations to these men remaining on the fuck list. Have a great off-season. We’ll see you next year.