Chipotle is Really Unhealthy…And?

By C.A. Pinkham | February 17, 2015 | 10:04pm

In Depth

The New York Times today posted an informative, detailed report about just how unhealthy Chipotle is for a variety of reasons. They also, for some inexplicable reason, seem to genuinely think this is news to us.

The piece, which, again, is very well-constructed and contains a good amount of fine detail, menus, and graphics, first points out how a typical Chipotle order takes up over half the recommended daily calories for an adult (a typical order is around 1070 calories, while the recommended intake is 1600-2400). You also get a full day’s worth of sodium from the same order, and 75% of your daily recommended saturated fat intake, which together probably explain why their burritos are so damn delicious. An example order of chicken soft tacos or bowls (even a veggie bowl!) with chips and guac is even more explosively calorie-laden, coming in around 1330. If you combine a burrito with chips and guacamole, god help you (by which I mean it’s around 1800).* True, the article (which is based on data collected from Grubhub) does have some detailed info about order distribution, although I think how many people are ordering which types of items would be a lot more interesting to Chipotle itself than to the general public.

Most Popular

I should probably mention that I am eating a Chipotle burrito as I type this (steak, white rice, no beans, medium salsa, sour cream, extra cheese because fuck my GI tract, lettuce), it’s the second day in a row I have done so, and I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever about the fact that I will probably not see my 60th birthday.

Look, we’re talking about Chipotle here. This is a place that sells bricks of meat, cheese, and vegetables encased in an enormous carb blanket. The tortilla alone is 300 calories. It’s all well and good to know just how unhealthy this stuff is, sure. An informal survey of the Jezebel staff and whoever happened to be on Facebook messenger at the time, however, seemed to indicate that pretty much everyone is already aware of this. We know full well that we’re taking our lives into our hands when we settle in for our Colon Buster with Extra Diabetes, and we’re willing to make that sacrifice.

Unless it’s sofritas, because that stuff tastes like packing peanuts left to marinate in a YMCA shower stall for a fortnight.

* There are also photos which look like they were taken with a disposable camera circa 1987. I mean, I know you guys aren’t food stylists, but you’re the Gray Lady; do you not employ photojournalists any more?

Image via Chipotle/Facebook.