Coming Soon: A Doctor Who Porn Parody Called 'Doctor Whore'

It’s the work of WoodRocket, the company that previously foisted a SpongeBob Squarepants porno upon the world. “We love Doctor Who and want to pay homage to this brilliant series. And add space vaginas,” said director Lee Roy Myers in the company’s announcement. Can’t wait to see a sonic screwdriver caressing the nebula-like clitoris of a space vagina! (By which I mean I would happily go the rest of my life seeing no such thing.)

Casting begins this week; the final product will stream online for free.

The longer you consider this, the less surprising it is. We’ve got an off-kilter dude who spends long periods zipping through space and time with a succession of attractive young women. Sure, you get innocent pairings, but there’s always been a lot of sexual tension on this show, considering its supposed family friendliness. No doubt fanfic has been exploring this for decades. Can you imagine the fever pitch it would’ve reached if they had actually gotten Benedict Cumberbatch? It’s not much of a leap to imagine the Doctor and his companions leapfrogging from decadent orgy to decadent orgy, boning merrily all the while.

I’m going to go take a shower now.