It turns out people don’t appreciate it when guidance counselors try to cure kids of being “queers” and “sissies.” Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark has a simple form for Wyoming coach/counselor Pat Lynch to fill out:
Reasons for being fired. (Check Box)
1. I watched Full Metal Jacket too many times and thought it would apply to real life
2. I lacked common sense
3. I possessed false notions of masculinity
4. I am a little anusface
5. I never learned how to empathize with others
6. I have gorilla-like hormones
7. I easliy misspell words
8. All of the above
Name of “Real Human” who called you out on your stupid ass shit: ______________
We, as a company, don’t want to put up with chest puffery. If you don’t have a modicum of common sense and courtesy, please let your supervisor know and we can provide you with a pink slip. If you need them, kicks in the ass can also be supplied.
[edited for better nomenclature]
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