Drink Some Pussy For An Energy Boost

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This product might not come as much of a surprise to our UK readers, but when we happened upon this “unique” brand of energy drink we were, um, kind of shocked. We’ll let the product speak for itself:

Pussy is a 100% natural drink. No nasty chemicals and nothing manufactured. It is made for people looking for a natural alternative. The name Pussy shocks and demands attention — that’s the point. Inhibition is a recipe for mediocrity. This is a premium energy drink named with confidence.

Our Pussy is all natural! Our Pussy demands attention! Our Pussy had confidence! Upon diving further into the product’s website, we discovered that our also Pussy has a personality! And values!

Personality: Pussy is spontaneous, entertaining, optimistic and fun. It’s a starting point. A moment when something happens and when things begin -– Pussy starts conversations. It believes in having a good time as often as possible.
Values: Pussy is the first truly premium energy drink. We have sourced the best ingredients to create a great taste and a natural lift. We believe in challenging the consensus –- and moving things forward. Pussy is about natural energy, it’s irreverent, sophisticated and a pleasure to drink. Pussy is NOT about being serious, chemical energy, having a corporate attitude or being predictable.

Our Pussy is unpredictable! Our Pussy isn’t about having a corporate attitude! Our Pussy believes in “having a good time!” Our Pussy is sophisticated! (You bet it is.) Um, our Pussy likes to “entertain?” Our Pussy starts conversations? Our Pussy is a “pleasure to drink?”

Pussy is unique. It is made with a blend of fresh white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water. These are then mixed with Grenadilla and Lychee flavours, infused with six selected botanical herbs: Milk Thistle, Guarana, Siberian Ginseng, Sarsaparilla, Schizandra, and Gingko Biloba.

Our Pussy combats depression! Our Pussy improves insomnia! Our Pussy cures psoriasis! (Paging Kim Kardashian!) Our Pussy improves liver function! Our Pussy …reduces bowel complaints? Okay, that’ll do.

Pussy Natural Energy Drink [Laughing Squid]
Pussy Energy Drink [True Agency]
Pussy Natural Energy [Official Site]

 
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