Dude, Sweet? Ashton Kutcher Joining Two And A Half Men

By Dodai Stewart  |  May 13, 2011 | 1:00pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag

It’s funny, you almost forget that Ashton Kutcher — Mr. Demi Moore, professional Twitter enthusiast and camera commercial attention-hog — is also an actor. But he is! He fauxbanged Natalie Portman in that friends with benefits movie that was not called Friends With Benefits! He was on that bell-bottoms show! Which ended in 2006. And he was in that sweet dude movie! In 2000. Anyway. Now he is going to be on TV’s number one comedy, replacing Charlie Sheen, in a deal that can only end well. Chuckles was making a shitload of cash — nearly $2 million PER EPISODE — but a source says Kelso is getting a “huge payday” to join the hit sitcom. Show creator Chuck Lorre has supposedly crafted a storyline to introduce the Punk’d kid “in a way that satisfies the network and studio.” The insider, whom we suspect is Lorre himself, says: “It’s really funny… People are going to love it.” No pressure dude! [The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline Hollywood]

Bad romance alert! Lady Gaga and boyfriend Luc Carl have broken up. “I don’t have a boyfriend and haven’t been on any dates recently,” Gags says, adding: “I’m just a holy fool. Oh baby, he’s so cruel… But still I’m in love with Judas, baby.” [Showbiz Spy]

In case you missed it: Lady Gaga was wearing shoes with lucite penis heels when she was on American Idol. [TMZ]

Hey, remember the Wonder Woman pilot David E. Kelley was filming, possibly for NBC? The network has passed. They saw the episode — and Adrianne Palicki dressed in American Apparel spandex — a and were all, thanks, but no thanks. Kelley can shop it somewhere else, but will another network want what NBC rejected? [ONTD]

  • Angelina Jolie is in Cannes, promoting Kung Fu Panda 2, and a reporter decided to ask the UN Goodwill Ambassador about Osama bin Laden. Quoth Ms. Jolie: “I’m here in the context of Kung Fu Panda; I’d rather not get into such a heavy issue.” [Pop Eater]
  • Wha?? “Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were contacted by child protection officers after their twins were born last month, following allegations of drinking and drug taking in the hospital.” Drugs? In a hospital? Well I never. [Contact Music]
  • Breaking: Snooki and JWoww have left the country! They were spotted at the Lufthansa ticket counter at Newark Airport yesterday. Destination: Florence, Italy. Image of the ladies checking their oodles and oodles of animal print luggage at the link. [TMZ]
  • Mary Tyler Moore will have brain surgery to remove a benign tumor of the lining tissue of her brain. Be well! [People]
  • Mike Myers and wife are expecting their first child. Party time. Excellent. [Contact Music]
  • Alex Pettyfer is starring as Channing Tatum in a stripper biopic directed by Steven Soderbergh?!?! Mind. Blown. But standing in line for tickets already. [Digital Spy]
  • Congrats to Star Jones, who is on the verge of getting engaged to her manfriend, a chef. [Janet Charlton’s Hollywood]
  • Being pregnant cured Sporty Spice of bulimia. [The Sun]
  • “I’m not a vegan anymore… I’m always learning and growing and changing and there were some boring health issues… and so I did actually have to work some animal products back into my diet. The first thing I ate was an egg that I found from a humane farm… and I scrambled it up. It was the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. I felt like a hypocrite and I cried and then I scrambled up another one.” — Ginnifer Goodwin. [Showbiz Spy]
  • “My favorite keepsake is my placenta. My mom found in my basement, crushed it up, and made into a necklace that I wear every day to improve my psychic abilities.” — Ke$ha. [Contact Music]

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