I’m sure by now you’re familiar with Pete Santilli, the right-wing radio host, “former U.S. marine, and Coca-Cola Executive,” who recently presented his extremely impressive four-point plan for shooting Hillary Clinton in the vagina.
The plan goes something like this: 1) Shoot Hillary Clinton in the vagina. 2) Look Hillary Clinton right in the eye. 3) Force Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State, who has just been shot in the vagina, to sit there and listen to you bloviate about Benghazi and Osama and building 7 and all the paranoid false flag doodoo-nonsense you talk about with your cousin Craig on the Facebook group you two made called “Cock-a-Doodle-DON’T, Sheeple! Hillary Clinton’s Vagina (More Like Hell-Are-She Spit-Scum’s Va-SLIME-uh!) Was an Inside Job with Pete ‘n’ Craig, SocialPISSt Hunters: The Movie, Coming Sept. 11, 2014” (6 people “liked” this!). 4) Win? I guess? Profit?
Now, the problem with this whole thing — I mean, the MAIN problem (lol @ the idea that there’s one problem here) — is that the world is currently, clumsily, dealing with a millennia-old epidemic of violence against women’s genitals. And reducing the former Secretary of State to her junk is yet another way of reminding women that what’s between our legs trumps what’s between our ears every time. That’s why Pete Santilli went straight for Hillary Clinton’s internal sexual organs, not her brain or her heart or her guts — and why it’s a more culturally significant statement (though no less brutal) than his follow-up plans to shoot President Obama in the testicles and then penis.
Here’s the full statement from Pete Santilli, totally 100% stable stand-up patriot with absolutely no mental health or sexual issues whatsoever, in case you’re curious:
I want to shoot her right in the vagina and I don’t want her to die right away; I want her to feel the pain and I want to look her in the eyes and I want to say, on behalf of all Americans that you’ve killed, on behalf of the Navy SEALS, the families of Navy SEAL Team Six who were involved in the fake hunt down of this Obama, Obama bin Laden thing, that whole fake scenario, because these Navy SEALS know the truth, they killed them all. On behalf of all of those people, I’m supporting our troops by saying we need to try, convict, and shoot Hillary Clinton in the vagina.
BRB, gotta go nibble Saltines and suck on a ginger-ale-soaked rag for a month.