Troop Beverly Hills turns 25 this year, which is probably a quarter of the number of times I watched it as a child (exceeded only by the original Parent Trap, which is in my DNA now). So, naturally—in honor of this august occasion and because I’ve gone at least a decade without any Nefler the Muffler Man in my life—it was time for a re-watch!
Other than showcasing Shelley Long at peak Shelley Long, being something of a third-wave feminist manifesto (it’s okay to care about nails AND have a family AND be a competent woods-woman AND have libidinous feelings toward your CPR instructor!), and teaching a generation of children who Pia Zadora is for no reason, Troop Beverly Hills‘s most important contributions to our cultural lexicon lie in the realm of fashion.
In short: SHELLEY LONG’S OUTFITS ARE A DEGREE OF BANANAS NOT MEASURABLE BY HUMAN INSTRUMENTATION.
So, in the interests of preservation and celebration, I ranked them. See below, and discuss.
31. Feelings Circle War Bonnet
We are all Mary Gross.
30. Original Wilderness Girls Peasant Smock
Burn it.
29. No More Mr. Fun Mom Sensible Chico’s Draped Cardigan
NAAAAAOOOOOOWWWWW!!!
28. Wilderness Girls Boring-Ass Unstructured Jacket Dress with Pith Helmet and Survival Ascot
Moooooom, you’re embarrassing us in front of Tori Spelling.
27. Snoozeville Polka Dot Jim-Jams
Basic.
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