Everything That Came Out of My Roommate’s Sinus Rinse
Google says he should seek medical attention immediately, but then again, Google always says that. It’s probably fine, right?
photos via iStock Saturday Night Social Saturday Night Social
I’m running late for work, and I need to brush my teeth, but my roommate has been in the bathroom for, like, an hour. What the hell could he be doing in there?
“One sec, I’m just finishing up my sinus rinse,” he tells me. We love a good sinus rinse to flush out old mucus and unwanted debris, but my roommates’ debris was…different. Google says he should seek medical attention immediately, but then again, Google always says that. It’s probably fine, right?
Here’s what he found.
A Cheez-It
The little rubber nub at the end of old drugstore earbuds.
Was he listening to music through his nostrils?
The ghost of a Victorian child
Meryl Streep
Still in character as Miranda Priestly, obviously.
An exquisite bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich
With a spicy aioli!
A lot of blood
I won’t show a picture, in case you’re squeamish.
Kelly Clarkson’s 2004 anthem, “Since You’ve Been Gone.”
So that’s what the earbuds were for!
The Marc Jacob Kiki Boot
The left foot one. (The right one is still missing)
A DVD of Requiem For a Dream
Our Roku remote?!… We’ve been looking for it everywhere!
A little mouse
Aw, he must have snuck in there because he got cold.
What’s that?
…
He has a secret for you!
Oh no.
…
The mouse has hantavirus.
I guess that means it’s time for another sinus rinse.
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