Georgia Moves to Decriminalize Bug Noises Even as Residents Report a Crime Wave of Cicada Horniness

Even as a person who very strongly believes that loud noises and bugs where I don’t want them should both be illegal, I simply cannot condone the criminalization of 17-year cicadas, who get one shot at boning and must yell loudly in order to shoot that shot to the fullest.

Residents in Georgia, however, do not feel the same, as authorities are “begging” folks to stop calling 911 in order to request police intervention for noisy cicadas. According to Southern Living:

“The Union County Fire/Rescue and Emergency Management Agency revealed on Facebook Sunday that they had received multiple 911 calls for “alarms” going off since Brood X cicadas began emerging from the ground.”

Of course, the sound is not an alarm, most likely. It is in fact the beautiful singing voice of millions of boy bugs, each singing a song that can reach 120 decibles. Also, apologies to anyone whose alarm does go off. No one can hear it, so sort that shit out yourself.