Gifts for Your Friend Who’s Allergic to the Outdoors but Loves Glamping

To my dear mother’s great disappointment, this year I have once again refused to embrace the great outdoors. I like to be comfortable. I like a perfectly temperature-controlled room at a cool 68 degrees. And I simply don’t understand the logic of sleeping on the ground while the pebbles beneath you make little indentations on your spine when you could simply be your most authentic, bougie-ass self in the sort of upscale and outlandish yurt you’d see featured in Kylie Jenner’s Instagram stories.

High-end yurts have remained a trendy idea over the last few years, especially during COVID, as the perfect glamping solution halfway between roughing it in a tent and staying in a little cabin. This is the exact right level of camping for me—someone who refuses to go in the ocean at the beach. Imagine eating toasted marshmallow ice cream instead of actually toasting marshmallows because we do not stoop around a silly little campfire! Picture popping on your reusable Dieux eye mask while meditating and breathing in the scent of nature without actually having to touch or interact with said nature. Just think of posting a photo of your glamp and being like, “off the grid. unreachable,” except you are because there’s a charger in your yurt, and sometimes it’s fun to tell glamorous little white lies. If anyone on your gifting list this year is an overly high-maintenance glamper like me, we’ve got you covered.

Regardless of your feelings regarding Kim Kardashian’s SKIMS monopoly (which, I’ll remind you, started off as KIMONO), the woman knows how to make some plush shit. These furry slides are like fluffy clouds beneath city-blistered feet and they run a somewhat modest $48 per pair. (Your friend doesn’t actually need hiking books, because she won’t be hiking.)

Generally, camping—even glamping—requires cooking something oneself. But if you have to grill, might as well do it on a portable grill that’s cute as fuck? Try this $199 portable charcoal grill from Everdure, which will certainly blend into the pristine aesthetic your friend has already curated in her yurt. And if it doesn’t go well, surely there’s a dive bar with burgers and fries close by—depending on how far into the woods she’s ventured, which I’d guess isn’t very far at all.

Nothing screams luxury more than a $40 burgundy silk sleep mask, which block out the bright sun rays so your glamper can sleep until noon. She will not be rising early to watch the sunrise. Watching the sunset just before your 8pm bedtime is essentially the same thing in reverse, right??

Fuck a Yeti cooler, bring a skincare fridge to the glampsite instead. Let’s be real about why your friend there in the first place: She wanted some R&R, she wanted to pamper herself, and she wanted to return to the city with her skin looking as taut as if she had plunged in the river a few dozen times. This $60 fridge from Cooluli is the perfect size to toss into a rental car. Glam!

Tell me you haven’t dreamt of feeding yourself chocolate-covered strawberries in this exact robe. There’s quite a few options out there including this $24 pink satin option from BooHoo, this $30 sheer mesh version from Dolls Kill that’s a little more boudoir, or a slightly less conspicuous version for $69 from Revolve. All I know is that I want to eat fluffy pancakes with a maple syrup drizzle while drinking a mimosa and looking out at a sparse horizon in these robes. It’s the reality all of us deserve.

I’m literally incapable of painting my own nails without a very detailed how-to booklet and precisely the right tools (none of which I own). I’ve heard amazing things about the $100 Olive and June Mani System, which comes with a nail clipper, file, buffer, polish remove pot, clean up brush, cuticle serum, a glossy top coat and SEVEN polish choices. Plus, their winter shades include outdoorsy-sounding titles like “Velvet Pouf,” “Bunny Slope,” “Cable Knit,” and “Into the Trees,” so, like, close enough.

I finally understand why this brand is called Barefoot Dreams. These $15 stocking stuffers are precisely the cozy footwear your tired feet have been dreaming of!! Start with the socks, but I’m warning you now this brand is a slippery slope and you will suddenly find yourself decked out in head-to-toe Barefoot Dreams robes and blankies and caftans. Slip these on before you snuggle up at bedtime to make sure those toes are nice and warm in the winter.

Let’s not let your friend ruin that very hydrated, definitely not dry and flaky, winter skin of hers by braving it in the wild, and give her this $75 (on sale!) portable humidifier to take on her solo trips. It could even match her skincare fridge and portable grill! It can be charged at home and used wirelessly, or plugged in for optimal sleep quality and throat soothing all night long.

I’m considering this $20 Porter glass a portable mimosa glass, but you can also use it for wine, cocktails, or iced coffee. Grab one for a solo trip, or a pair for a girls weekend or romantic getaway. No more red plastic cups at the campsite, please. Matching Porter clinks from now on. The silicone sleeve is good for a grib in case your just lotioned up your hands post-mani, and the sippable lid is necessary for those of us who can’t drink and walk at the same time. The site calls this product “everyday luxury,” which perfectly encompasses my relationship with the woods.