This week’s episode of Finn Knows Best opens with Principal Figgins threatening to suspend Santana for two weeks for slapping Finn in the face. However, she winds up getting off because Finn claims that she actually only pretended to hit him. Mr. Schue asks what Finn’s “angle” is, and you might assume that he feels guilty because he knows that Santana only hit him for outing her. But, you’d be wrong. He tells her he feels bad for her and doesn’t like to see her hiding who she is. And since he gets to decide when Santana shares her sexual preference with the world, he tells her she has a choice: She can either take a two week suspension or participate in a joint Troubletones/New Directions lesson he concocted called “Lady Music Week.”
Finn’s behavior throughout the episode is presented as being sweet, but it’s actually just misguided and creepy. Naya Rivera manages to temper the ickiness by showing that Santana’s disturbed and annoyed by her classmates’ attempts to force her to embrace her lesbianism with cloying pop song performances. Later when Finn asks how she’s enjoying the lesson, she barks, “Do you realize you’re basically forcing me out of the flannel closet?” Finn justifies his behavior by saying he needs to prevent Santana from killing herself. She’s never expressed any suicidal tendencies, but Finn’s convinced Santana might be in danger because he heard that other gay students have killed themselves. For some reason Finn’s uncomfortable slowed-down version of “Girls Just Want To Have Fun,” makes Santana appreciate his arrogant behavior and she gives him a hug to say thank you.
After the anti-Sue campaign ad finally runs, Santana’s approached by a sketchy sophomore who says all she needs is a man to straighten her out. The other girls come to her defense and launch into “I Kissed A Girl.” (Eventually Glee will expose how weak the original vocals are on every single Katy Perry song.) Santana reveals that she came out to her parents and conveniently they were cool with her lesbianism, but she still has to talk to her abuela. She kicks Santana out of her house, because coming out to her family couldn’t possibly be that easy.
During Puck’s performance of Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m The Only One,” Quinn realizes that he’s serenading Shelby and decides it’s time to make her next move. Apparently that’s sleeping with Puck and having him impregnate her again, since she’s officially insane now. Puck actually points this out when denying her offer, saying, “You’re kind of nuts. You’re higher maintenance that Berry, and you’re pretty much the most selfish person I’ve ever met in my life so thanks for the offer, but I’d rather raw dog a bee hive.”
Later Shelby calls Puck to the hospital because Beth fell and needs to get stitches in her lip. Puck comforts her and we cut to a clothed post-coital moment between them. Shelby tells Puck he needs to leave because she’s suddenly realized having sex with a student is a “mistake,” and “just wrong.” Puck get angry and runs off to have “angry sex” with Quinn, but stops whe she reveals she’s trying to make Beth a sister. Yet, five minutes later Puck forgets Quinn’s totally lost it and confesses that he’s sleeping with Shelby — but Quinn has to keep it a secret!! It’s a good think Quinn doesn’t hate Shelby and hasn’t been looking for a way to get Beth back all season!
In other news, Kurt and Burt Hummel win their respective elections. However, Rachel threw the class president race by stuffing the ballot boxes for Kurt, so the position goes to Brittany. Figgins thinks Kurt’s to blame, so Rachel confesses and she’s suspended and banned from competing in sectionals. Also, this week it became evident that Kurt’s ridiculous sweater capes, much like Blaine’s short pants and bowties, are officially a thing.
The episode closes with predictably lovely performance of k.d. lang’s “Constant Craving” by Santana. I say they ditch the annual McKinley Mash Off in favor another “Lady Music Week.” If we’re going with the most stereotypical music choices for Santana, I’d like to hear her take on Ani DiFranco and the Indigo Girls.
