Good Riddance to Jared Polis, America’s Worst Elected Democrat

Jared Polis, governor of my great home state of Colorado, functionally ended his Democratic political career this week, as he chose fealty to President Trump over democracy and the rule of law by granting clemency to Tina Peters, the election clerk who was sentenced to nine years in prison for trying to help Trump overturn the 2020 election. Like the coward he has long proven himself to be, he did this two days after the legislative session adjourned in hopes he would not face repercussions for his anti-democratic actions (reports were he risked impeachment had he done it with Colorado’s Congress in session). Polis is a weenie. An empty suit wearing an empty suit, remotely controlled by Peter Thiel. There are not enough words in the English language to describe my deep well of white-hot hatred for a so-called Democrat who has reveled in ruling against the popular will of my people in service to his masters in another state.

This is also where I have to disclose that this is not just political, but also a personal beef between me and my governor. In 2020, my sister was the head of Sunrise Movement Colorado, and she along with other Sunrise and climate activists protested his State of the State address with a song inside the capitol and disrupted it. He supported throwing my sister and others, including a teenager, in jail for the night. I will spend the rest of my life celebrating this little turd’s every failure no matter how small, because I am still that mad, and I am forever that petty. Every time Polis stubs his toe I’ll pop the cork on a fresh bottle of champagne. For every percentage point his $400 million-plus net worth drops, I will treat myself with a cheat meal. When he disappoints his master Peter Thiel and doesn’t get the billionaire head pats he so sweatily desires, I will throw a block party. Jared Polis has made many enemies for life in his objective failure of a career in Colorado politics, including this blogger.

But I don’t need to make this personal to convince anyone why this proud RFK Jr. simp is the absolute bottom of the barrel of fetid scum dragging the Democratic Party down to their depraved depths. Polis is not a Democrat. He is not a free-thinking libertarian centrist like his lazy PR team from Silicon Valley has duped many of my state’s residents into believing. He is a weirdo rich freak who gets off on trolling his own constituency, and that is why he now has quite literally zero friends left in non-MAGA politics, finding himself censured by the Colorado Democratic Party for granting clemency to Tina Peters. An actual centrist, Senator Michael Bennet who is running to replace him as governor, said he would not appoint Polis to the Senate should he win, and that Polis’s commutation of Peters was “disqualifying.” This is how this braindead boob responded to having practically the entire state tell him to go fuck himself this week.

Governor Polis’ first press conference since he granted clemency to Tina Peters focused on healthy foods.

POLIS: “While I chew on the carrot, any questions?”

(reporters asked about Peters/clemency)

POLIS: “I’m going to finish chewing my carrot.”

[image or embed]

— Kyle Clark (@kylec.bsky.social) May 21, 2026 at 1:40 PM

The Democratic Party’s perpetual failure of a consultant class will always sell you some bullshit about radical centrism or unicorns or something else that never has and never will exist, but Jared Polis is what pivoting to the center looks like in practice more so than any of the Very Serious nonsense that establishment Dems invent. Colorado Democrats had a generational opportunity to fix the many messes hampering my state, and the trifecta couldn’t even get into the the right-wing TABOR law strangling our budget to death for decades because this fucking asshole “Democrat” governor kept vetoing bipartisan legislation that passed both chambers of Colorado’s Congress. Polis spent the last year treating one of the most important jobs in the country like an internet troll because intellectually, that’s really all he is. He is America’s worst elected Democrat, and yes, worse than John Fetterman who has a much higher score from the AFL-CIO than Polis got when he was a Representative in the Colorado House.

Polis is just a wannabe oligarch who is too poor to be one, but rich enough to buy every seat of democratic power he’s ever held (he spent $1 million to win a seat on the Colorado Board of Education, $6 million to win the 2nd Congressional House District, and nearly $35 million of his own money between two governor’s races).

House Bill 25-1088 passed the state legislature last year without a single vote against it from Democrats or Republicans, as it aimed to prohibit balance billing by ground ambulance services and required insurance companies to pay for both emergency and non-emergency out-of-network rides at established rates. Polis vetoed it, because he used different numbers than the bill writers did to say that the bill was flawed, and he also opposed it on “several drafting issues” he claimed made it unworkable. Bullshit. This is a greedy human being who has long proven he only cares about his own interests and could give a shit about governing for the people who elected him. He is an oligarchic leech on my state.

The pro-surprise ambulance billing Democrat vetoed 11 bills in his lame duck session this past year, a personal record. He signed 476 of 487 bills into law as of last June, and 88% of those signed into law contained at least one Republican sponsor. This is Polis’s birdbrained way of running for president in 2028. He’s going to plug into the same Silicon Valley machine that JD Vance is plugged into, and he’s going to run as Not Your Normal Democrat™ because he is a Republican and also a delusional and out-of-touch rich asshole. A Bari Weiss fan, in other words.

Polis vetoed the Worker Protection Act, which would have removed one of the other chains the oligarchy strapped on this state alongside TABOR, where a second election following a simple majority vote is required to form a union. He also vetoed a bill that would have banned computer algorithms to set rent prices. Consumer advocates blasted the veto, and the Biden administration released a report that found software companies like RealPage cost Denver renters an extra $136 per month, “one of the highest monthly cost increases in the country, and is used in over 45% of multifamily rental units in the city,” as noted by Colorado Newsline.

The pro-ambulance and rent-price-gouging candidate didn’t stop there, as Polis served his masters in California by vetoing House Bill 25-1291 which aimed to impose safety restrictions on ride-share services like Uber and Lyft to increase safety for passengers. Polis’ daddies threatened to pull their business out of Colorado after it passed, which is a testament to how much these companies prioritize profits over ensuring their passengers actually reach their destination safely. Twelve percent of Colorado’s workforce are gig workers, so if you think they would have followed through on this threat, I have a bunch of Polis 2028 merchandise I’d like to sell you at a premium. The bill was sponsored by Rep. Jenny Willford who said she was sexually assaulted by a Lyft driver, and prosecutors charged the man who allegedly attacked her, further buttressing the credibility of this bill. Polis sided with Lyft and Uber over a sexual assault victim instead. He also vetoed a bill that would have stopped wage theft from construction workers. This is the kind person he has chosen to tell the world he is.

The first bill that Polis vetoed in this session was a bipartisan measure that would have changed the timeline requirements around the Colorado Open Records Act. It would have extended the timeline that a records custodian has to respond to a CORA request, save for journalists. Despite vetoing a bill that objectively would have made it easier for Colorado to be transparent about what goes on in its government, when he did this, Polis said he supports “more, not less, openness and transparency.” This man is so full of shit that if you look close enough, you can see it trickling out his ears every time he talks.

Polis used to be a rising Democratic star. Conservative columnist George Will called for Polis to run for president in 2024, and Reason called him the most libertarian governor in America, which is only true in the sense of how libertarianism practically applies itself in this country. Polis ran for governor on closing special interest tax loopholes, but shocker! This supposed libertarian here to even the playing field for the little guy actually increased tax benefits to special interests at a cost of over $640 million to Coloradans like me over the next decade, according to a study done by the Independence Institute’s Fiscal Policy Center. There is practically no such thing as libertarianism in America, just useful idiots for the oligarchy who like to lie to themselves about what their ideology actually entails. 

Polis betrayed Colorado for his masters in Silicon Valley time and time again, and the Tina Peters clemency is another handout to the criminals in the Valley backing this MAGA movement to overthrow the Constitution. Colorado’s legislature passed measures to protect Coloradans from the harms created by the move-fast-and-break-things ethos of a broken culture of elites that is not ours, and Polis stopped Colorado’s Representatives from representing us. He has spent the past year trying to carve out a path as the most right-wing Democrat in the 2028 primary, vetoing both bipartisan and Democratic bills. The only commonality amongst all of these vetoes is that large companies in Silicon Valley stand to profit from his actions. He is a proven serial liar who lost every single political ally he has cultivated in the last eight years, and he now finds himself alone on an island, aggressively chomping on a carrot like an alien trying to impersonate Bugs Bunny while struggling to prove to the world how definitely not mad he is. 

Be forewarned, Democrats, this is what pivoting to the right looks like in practice. You can tell yourself whatever fairy tale you want about compromise and blah blah blah, but moving right in America means moving towards the oligarchy who funds the right, and Polis ended his term licking Donald Trump’s boot, calling RFK Jr. his daddy, and governing like an outright Silicon Valley Republican. He is MAGA Alan Colmes now. This small, selfish rich man’s only principle in life is the almighty dollar, and the depraved alliances he has made in service to it. He sold Colorado out for his own network, and he is going to try to tell you in 2028 that this all was some brave independent act of defiance against us radical Bernie Bros out here in the People’s Republic of Boulder (where you now cannot buy a home for less than $1 million).

It wasn’t. He’s just a replacement-level puppet for Peter Thiel and the rest of the Silicon Valley oligarchy trying to snuff out democracy in America. Polis’s 2028 Democratic presidential campaign is going to be such a disaster, it will make Michael Bennet’s 2020 presidential run and its 952 votes look like 2008 Barack Obama by comparison.