What Stanley Tucci (Probably) Ate Today
A single caviar egg, a pan-fried Gucci loafer, a fuckass sandwich, and a big glass of extra virgin olive oil.
Photo: Tucci In Italy Saturday Night Social Stanley Tucci
Welcome back to Saturday Night Social.
For the past decade, Stanley Tucci has been quietly executing one of the less common career shifts attempted by Hollywood icons: from side character in a movie to Italian food influencer. (The only other member of this highly exclusive club is, of course, Gwyneth Paltrow) His transition to food influencer culminated in 2024 with the release of his 4th food-centric book, What I Ate in One Year (subtitle: And Other Thoughts), in which he diaries his breakfasts, lunches, and dinners (and other thoughts), as well as all eclectic things he ate during the year he filmed Conclave (For example, “a salad of dandelion leaves” to give you the proper picture).
After perusing What I Ate in One Year once in a bookstore, rewatching The Devil Wears Prada on a plane, and being forced to watch the entire first season of his cooking/travel show Tucci In Italy against my will (long story), I am now an expert in Tucci-ology. I have studied the ways of Stanley, mapped his astrological chart, measured the winds, the dew point, and the Italian rain season, and based on my thorough data collection, I can now confirm with near-scientific certainty that this is probably what he ate today:
Breakfast:
A large glass of extra virgin olive oil, a cup of coffee, and the newspaper.
Stanley starts the day with beverages and current events, because he is very, very classy. Yes, he eats the newspaper too once he’s done staying well informed.
A single caviar egg
Stanley Tucci doesn’t do scrambled eggs. He does caviar, roe, quail, pheasant, etc. Always raw.
Half a banana
The classiest breakfast one could have.
Salt and pepper
Just plain salt and pepper mixed together on a Williams Sonoma plate. This serves as Stanley’s palate cleanser before lunch!
Lunch
A fuck-ass sandwich
It’s Stanley’s favorite time of day—time to build a fuck-ass sandwich: Today he will take two freshly baked slices of rye, a bed of figs, a single blue cheese-stuffed olive, anchovies (obviously), sheep’s cheese, half of a honey-roasted nut, et voilà.
Burger (leftovers)
OK, he’s not that picky. He’s also going to finish the half of that cheeseburger that’s been sitting in the fridge since Wednesday, and preferably he will eat it while standing one foot away from the fridge while the door is still open.
A 4-Course Dinner
Course 1: A pan-fried Gucci loafer
Add a spritz of lemon to bring out the leather’s flavor. (Never vegan leather. Never.)
Course 2: A salad of sand, sticks, and bird legs sourced from the beaches of Jacob Riis
With some sautéed aromatics.
Course 3: Prosciutto stuffed rabbit
Course 4: An entire bottle of Meghan Markle’s Rose, “As Ever”
Delizioso, as he would say.
And for his sweet treat…Meryl Streep’s lost veneers…confit!
That’s where they went!
See the rest of what Stanley Tucci ate in my own personal sequel, What I Force Fed Stanley Tucci In A Week, coming soon to a Barnes & Noble clearance section near you.
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