On Monday, Time announced its annual shortlist for 2015’s Person of the Year, an honor annually bestowed to someone who has changed the narrative, or some shit.
This year’s list is lacking, to say the least. It includes Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi, the leader of ISIS (no thank you!), Vladimir Putin, and Donald Trump—all verifiably garbage choices. It also includes “Black Lives Matter activists,” who are actually a deserving choice and I appreciate their work.
If I was Queen Time, my list would include some politicians, some artistic geniuses, some charitable souls, and some people who have just won my heart. Here’s a look at what should’ve been:
Lin-Manuel Miranda
For writing and starring in the theatrical event sure to influence the art form for generations to come, Hamlet.
Mary-Kate Olsen
For community service-marrying an elderly Frenchman and proving once and for all that ageism is a thing of the past.
This Smiling Dog
For bravely looking into the face of adversity.