Holiday Gift Guide: What to Buy a Self-Proclaimed Slut

By Katie J.M. Baker  |  November 20, 2012 | 8:00pm
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Stumped about what to buy your favorite self-proclaimed slut? Sure, you could get her lingerie and a vibrator (and, don’t worry, there are some of the latter on this list), but she probably already has the essentials, right? Here are some more creative ideas for the friend who has no idea where (or with whom) she’ll sleep tomorrow night.

Vibrator.
A vibrator may be a bit “Slut 101,” but we thought we’d include some commenter faves: a Hitachi Magic Wand Massager for those who like to keep it simple, and a Dual-action Vibrator from Lelo for those who’ve made it into the honors course.
$45 [Amazon]; $159 [Lelo]

Foldable Ballet Flats.
Sometimes you wanna go out dancing in heels, but you almost never want to wake up in someone else’s bed and eat a breakfast burrito and then somehow get your hungover ass back to your own place in heels. That’s why these foldable ballet flats — which come with a carrying case, too! — will be her new best friends.
$14 [Amazon]

Dry Shampoo.
I’ve tried many, many, many dry shampoos (I have thick hair and I’m lazy about washing it), and I think Klorane’s Gentle Dry Shampoo is the best. Plus, it makes you smell nice. Spray some on in the morning and feel better about your life choices.
$18 [Soap]

Overnight Pouch.
Commenter globetrottertex came up with an excellent DIY version:

“I would make him/her a little overnight pouch that you can easily stick in your purse or glove compartment, containing: a change of underwear (preferably sexy leopard print), a few condoms, those finger toothbrush things, cab fare (20 bucks? depends where), a Starbucks card worth and X amount for that morning coffee, and possibly a dose of Plan B, for good measure.”

Or you can BIY (Buy It Yourself) for $35 [Walk of Shame Kit]

First Aid for Sluts.
gloomanddoombuggy has another “gift basket”-type idea that’s a little less fun but perhaps even more practical:

“The Vagina Owner’s Emergency Kit”: minimum 2 pregnancy tests, OTC yeast infection treatment, emergency contraception, condoms, lube, and your preferred menstrual protection.

Price = whatever you want. And you could put it into a regular First Aid kit so no one will know the truth. Until her aunt actually opens it while looking for Tums after Christmas dinner.

Leather Handcuffs.
Shikishi88 tipped us off to these leather cuff bracelets, which are classy enough to wear out to a family dinner but double as handcuffs later, too.
$62 [Incoqnito]

Required Reading.
Annamoviegal reccomends The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, “an excellent book about exploring non-monogamous sexual possibilities.”
$12 [Amazon]

Massage Oil Candle.
Candles and massage oil can be cheesy, but they can also be sexy — and, for some reason, this sleek two-in-one version makes them both cool to boot.
$28 [Jimmyjane]

Marabou Slippers.
Useless anywhere else but the bedroom. Which is the whole point.
$29 [Fredericks of Hollywood]

Image via JPagetRFPhotos/Shutterstock.

 
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