Since ESPN’s 2014 Body Issue debuted this week with baseball player Prince Fielder on the cover bare bellied and thick, #huskytwitter was born to celebrate the healthier male form. I approved … until I saw a sad list of “Husky Men I Shouldn’t Overlook” which included many knockoffs.
Listen, I have always been attracted to the thick’ems. When my girls and I divided up Boyz II Men, I chose Wanya Morris. I have had a crush on O’Shea Jackson for decades and I want to snuggle with Chad Coleman, or Cutty from The Wire and these days Tyreese from The Walking Dead. When I rated male butts in high school by fruits, the apple bums of the skinny guys were never enough but cantaloupes on the thick’ems were just right. I like a man who can give me a good hug with a nice round behind I can squeeze at the same time — multitasking, people — because once you go bear hug, there’s no going back. That said, The Root ran a list called “13 Heroes of #HuskyTwitter You Shouldn’t Overlook” and it really leaves something to be desired. Rick Ross is on this list.
Rick. Ross.
Some other low points include David Banner, Glen Davis, Timbaland and … Chris Brown? Chris Brown is listed as a “Husky Hopeful” due to the pounds he gained behind bars. Guys, make this list stop.
Look, husky men aren’t necessarily overweight, but they are thicker than the average man. There should be a bit of a belly, strong arms and solid legs and a round behind, if they’re #blessed. You might not be able to see all of this man’s muscles like you can on a thin gentleman but you know they’re there. Prince Fielder is a great example of husky, all broad and tattooed of chest and defined of legs. Ross, on the other hand who is more of the portly variety, is not.
As for who should be on this list, I nominate O’Shea, Chad, and Wanya in the ’90s, though I’m open to suggestions … because this abomination of #huskytwitter must be corrected. Immediately.
ps. Watch this video if you like thick’ems. You will thank me later.