I Hope One Day I Get the Honor of Being Murdered by Martha Stewart By Jia Tolentino | September 30, 2015 | 9:30pm In Depth × Copy Link Facebook X Reddit Email ! And I hope it goes a little something like this. I died. Wait—let me put some music on. Most Popular I Didn't Think Authoritarian Rule Came With This Much Secondhand Embarrassment Calling It Now: Jeremy Allen White Will Win an Oscar for His Springsteen Portrayal Hailey Bieber Deletes Perfectly Petty Justin Bieber Comment Contact the author at [email protected]. More from JezebelSounds Like Orlando Bloom Also Didn't Support Katy Perry's Space MissionOhio GOP Ignores Voters, Introduces Bill to Ban Abortion, Criminalize Abortion SeekersEverything Jezebel Loved (and Really Didn't Love) at Tribeca 2025 Join the discussion... GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth. Sign Up Leave this field empty if you're human:
