I Watched 365 Movies in 2018, Even Though Nobody Asked Me to

While recovering from the residual hangover at home on New Year’s Day, I was about to press play on an episode of Bojack Horseman that I had seen approximately two or three (or seven) times when I remembered my intoxicated promise. I abandoned Bojack and ended up watching Ridley Scott’s 1991 road film Thelma & Louise. I loved it.

I figured I would last about a week before comfortably settling back into my former routine, but as time went on, I felt obligated to see this goal through to the end. So here I am, 365 movies later.

I spent many late nights watching movies until the early morning. I even watched a few on my phone, a truly sacrilegious act. Sometimes I would miss days and have to double (or triple) up on weekends to stay on track. Though ultimately, I’d say it was worth it.

I was able to fill in a lot of my pop cultural reference gaps and discover some of my new favorite movies. It was a taxing mental endurance test, but I’ve successfully rewired my brain to want to take a chance on a potentially terrible movie, instead of burrowing deeper into the familiar hole where Parks & Recreation plays on a loop.

I tracked everything I saw here, but I’ll leave you with some quick thoughts on the films that made a lasting impression on me.

Movies That Lived Up to the Hype

• Silence of the Lambs – Well, Clarice. I’m pleasantly surprised.
• Donnie Darko – Every boy I was crushing on in high school quoted this movie at least once a week, so I pretended to have seen it but never actually did. It’s possibly the only thing they were ever right about.
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – I avoided this for a while because it was heralded by the same men who think that loving Garden State is a personality trait.

Movies That Did Not Live Up to the Hype

• Paddington – He’s not even that cute. Fight me!
• The Sandlot – You’re killing me, Smalls.
• I Feel Pretty – I probably shouldn’t have had high expectations here, but we all make mistakes.

Movies I Surprisingly Liked

• The House – Chance the Rapper was right.
• Bratz – At most, it’s an anti-fascist manifesto. At minimum, it’s like watching The Cheetah Girls while on an acid trip.
• Spring Breakers – A fever dream.

Movies I Loved and Will Tell People Were My Favorites to Seem Cool:

• The Favourite – Definitely my favourite film to come out in 2018.
• The Love Witch – Relatable.
• Election – I’d pick this flick in more ways than one.

My Actual Favorites

• Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle – This is peak cinema.
• Moonstruck – I was doomed to love any movie co-starring Cher and Nicolas Cage.
• Wild At Heart – I saw this right after I finished binging Twin Peaks. More than anything, 2018 was the year that cemented my David Lynch obsession.

Movies That Made Me Cry

• Roma -It starts out slow, but the second half of this movie absolutely destroyed me.
• Blue Jay – I definitely did not sit in my room sobbing to Annie Lennox’s “No More ‘I Love You’s” after seeing this.
• Crazy Rich Asians – I’m not ashamed.

Movies That Fucked Me Up

• Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978 remake) – One of the most effective horror films I’ve ever seen.
• The Secret Life of Pets – Why is the body count in this movie so high?
• Three Identical Strangers – I left the theater freaked out about how much the triplets looked like my dad.

Movies With Characters I Have A Crush on Now

• Earth Girls Are Easy – Jeff Goldblum plays a furry blue alien, but I would still hit it.
• Batman Returns – Michael Keaton, but mostly Michelle Pfeiffer. Meow!
• Venom – I’m not talking about Tom Hardy. I’m talking about Venom. I’m very into how much a symbiotic parasite would make me feel needed. Let me see what that tongue can do!

Movies That I Watched By Accident

• Wayne’s World 2 – It wasn’t until the credits rolled that I realized I wasn’t watching the original Wayne’s World, but I liked it anyway. Party on.
• Grey Gardens – Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange shine in this made-for-TV movie that I did not know was based on a documentary until I Googled it later.
• Ibiza – I fell asleep watching Bojack Horseman (I never said I abandoned my old habits completely), apparently rolled onto the remote and woke up five minutes into this Netflix movie. I should have stayed asleep.

Movies With Songs That Haunted Me

• A Star Is Born – Cue 1,000 hours of my friends and I scream-singing “Shallow” at unsuspecting passers-by.
• Miss Stevens – America’s “Sister Golden Hair” made it onto my Spotify “Top Songs 2018″ playlist because of this movie.
• Beaches – YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY WIIIIIIIIINGS

Movies That Made Me Want to Throw Up

• Trainspotting – That baby on the ceiling is burned into my brain forever.
• Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – Not the first time Johnny Depp has made me nauseous.
• Adore – Love a nice romantic film about two ladies who want to… fuck each other’s sons?

Bad Movies I Only Watched for a Specific Actor

• Glitter – This movie sucked, but Mimi is fine.
• Destination Wedding – I would like a DNA test to prove that I’m not actually the daughter of Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves.
• The Princess Switch – This movie doesn’t have great attention to detail, but it does have Vanessa Hudgens and that’s enough for me.

Movies I Fell Asleep Watching

(I will preface this by saying that if I passed out during a movie, I rewound to see the full film before counting it.)

• The Godfather – This movie is three hours long.
• Barry Lyndon – This movie is three and a half hours long.
• Book Club – I dozed off for about 20 minutes while watching this on a plane and woke up to Mary Steenburgen tap-dancing to Meat Loaf.

Movies I’ve Already Forgotten the Plot of

• America’s Sweethearts – I remember this is another movie where I’m somehow supposed to think John Cusack is hot.
• The Commitments – I remember that this movie was about a band in Ireland. That’s about it.
• Kodachrome – I know I was angry at Jason Sudeikis, but I’m not sure why.

If you’re interested in trying something similar, I would recommend sticking to a more reasonable goal, perhaps a couple hundred to start.