ICYMI, the Trump Admin Wants to Create a Slush Fund for Trump’s Biggest Suck-Ups

Well, you know what they say! No authoritarian regime is quite complete without a trusty slush fund of nearly $2 billion to reward its biggest toadies.

The Justice Department ticked off this milestone on Monday, and announced that it would be inaugurating the administration’s “anti-weaponization fund” for Trump’s political allies and friends—or anyone who’s been wrongly targeted for “political, personal or ideological reasons,” particularly by the Biden administration. Geez. What could possibly go wrong? 

The move was signed off by none other than Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, who said in an accompanying statement that “the machinery of government should never be weaponized against any American, and it is this Department’s intention to make right the wrongs that were previously done while ensuring this never happens again.” Same guy who’s trying to indict former FBI Director James Comey over an Instagram post of seashells, BTW. 

At the top of minds over this grift-launch is the likelihood that it will be used to give handouts to Jan. 6 insurrectionists—either because Trump took about zero pause to pardon and commute their sentences as soon as he re-entered office last year; or because he called them “hostages” before they were given clemency; or! maybe! because a lawyer who represents more than 400 of them wasted no time to celebrate news of the fund. In its announcement, the DOJ also said that it has “no liability whatsoever for the protection or safeguarding of those funds, regardless of bank failure, fraudulent transfers, or any other fraud or misuse of the funds.” Reassuring.

The fund will be overseen by five people appointed by Blanche, who also appeared on Tuesday before a Senate Appropriations Panel to discuss the DOJ’s budget for next year. During the three-hour session, he was at one point asked by Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) about one particular J6-er, who in March was sentenced to life after a jury convicted him of sexually assaulting two children, one under 12, the other under 16. Per court documents, the insurrectionist at one point bribed one of his victims with hush money he claimed he was expecting from his pardon, saying that because he received clemency, he’d soon get $10,000 and add the kid to his own will. 

“An individual who was pardoned by Trump went on to molest two children, and he tried to buy their silence by saying he would give them funds from your slush fund,” Van Hollen said. “Can you commit to not making that person eligible for a payout?” Blanche accused the question of being a lie. 

VAN HOLLEN: An individual who was pardoned by Trump went on to molest two children, and he tried to buy their silence by saying he would give them funds from your slush fund. Can you commit to not making that person eligible for a payout?

BLANCHE: You’re obviously lying in your… pic.twitter.com/sDN6F7KeRT

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 19, 2026

The fund will be worth $1.776 billion—a likely reference to the year the Declaration was signed, and another reminder that the administration is gearing up to go full-send annoying with its 4th of July celebrations. The cash comes out of a Congressional “Judgment Fund” (which is usually meant for settling lawsuits against the government) and will apparently be available until December 2028, after which any remaining money will go back to the federal government. 

Dozens of Democrats have been fighting to block the program, and at least 93 have signed an amicus brief, calling it “collusive litigation to force the American people to put that money into his pockets, and the pockets of [Trump’s] family and friends.” 

“Only Congress has the power to appropriate money, and Congress never voted on creating this $1.7 billion political slush fund at the Department of Justice,” Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md.) told ABC News on Sunday. “Congress would never pass that.” It appears the fallout is also bipartisan—and right after the announcement, Brian Morrissey, who was appointed by Trump to be the Treasury’s general counsel last year, stepped down after his eight-month tenure. 

Scoop: The top lawyer at the Treasury Department suddenly stepped down on Monday.

Comes in the wake of the Trump admin’s $1.776 billion “anti-weaponization fund.”

— Andy Duehren (@aduehren) May 19, 2026

And in another alarming detail, the fund comes as an “exchange” for the administration dropping a $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS, which kicked off in January after a former contractor allegedly improperly disclosed Trump’s tax returns, and those of his sons and companies. (Since Nixon, God unrest his soul, Trump’s been the only president to fully refuse to disclose any of this information.)

Speaking to reporters, a spokesperson for the president’s team said “the IRS wrongly allowed a rogue, politically-motivated (sic) employee to leak private and confidential information about President Trump, his family, and the Trump Organization…President Trump continues to hold those who wrong America and Americans accountable.” Alas, as we’ve seen, in this kakistocracy, there’s no holding anyone accountable.