We’ve had one GOP candidate who is a robotic automaton, one candidate who I am pretty sure is the Incredible Hulk, and another one who is “not” the Zodiac Killer like I am “not” looking at a picture of Donald Trump’s grave right now. But lo, here is a picture of Trump’s grave, which leads me to another conclusion: zombies are real, and they are orange?
A Jezebel tipster sent in photos of a tombstone marked with the name “Donald J. Trump” that he or she purportedly took in Central Park. While I am unable to verify whether the Donald J. Trump on the tombstone is actually that of the billionaire, entrepreneur, and spittle enthusiast, I can confirm that both Trumps share the same middle initial—Trump’s middle name is John—and that both Trumps were born the same year.
No date or year of death is recorded on the grave marker, so yes, whoever this Trump is, he is very much alive—which means any Easter resurrection analogies I’d otherwise be obligated to make are thankfully, THANKFULLY moot.