Is This Kanye West's Penis? And Why Does It Make Me Sad?

By Jessica Coen | October 31, 2010 | 9:06pm

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Fortunately not a question we get to ask everyday. But unfortunately, alleged images of his robocop are making the rounds. Happy Halloween?

A couple of weeks ago, Radar reported that some enterprising ladies were shopping around salacious pics of Yeezy, which, according to a source, he had apparently sent to “many girls on MySpace.” (MySpace: where nothing good ever happens.) Now these photos have wormed their way onto the web, originally appearing on Media Takeout just long enough for other blogs to grab them and spread the cringe. There are two pictures: the inoffensive one above, and the second shot, in which we see the lower half of his torso and then some. (Obviously INCREDIBLY NSFW, but here you go.) Put the two together and you’ve got a full pinup shot. If that’s your thing.

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I’m not going to bother with a verdict on whether or not the penis in question is indeed Kanye’s, or if the image is even real — you can decide that for yourself if you choose to click the link. But my heart sank a little bit when I looked at the picture (as I am editorially obligated to do). It wasn’t because I was disappointed in what I saw (I didn’t look long enough to form an opinion), and it’s not because I feel sorry for the noted douchebag. Nor did I even feel remotely offended or shocked by the image. And that’s what’s so depressing here: whether you’d heard rumors about it or not, Kanye’s cell-phone cock shot is so…expected, isn’t it? It’s just another instance of unpleasantness from an artist whose Crazy tends to steal the spotlight from his considerable talent. And after a certain point, naughty celebrity pictures are blasé, particularly in an era of Lohan and syringes. Yeah, I’m jaded as all hell, but even if I weren’t, I doubt this would do much more than half-raise an eyebrow. After all, it’s not like Kanye’s ever presented himself as a wholesome fellow like Wrangler-wearing Brett Favre.

The fact of these images — or the circumstances under which they were taken, sent out, and eventually sold off — being so unremarkable is perhaps what made it so easy for Kanye to share them with his ladies of choice. And we have no idea whether or not these images were solicited or welcomed on the part of the recipients; there’s as good of a chance that they were as there is that they weren’t. And that’s fine if they were. I’m just making a guess here, but I suspect Kanye didn’t think twice before snapping the pics and sending them out. If anything is remarkable here, it’s that he perhaps thought that they wouldn’t get leaked.

I’m not going to assault your eyes with this against your will. But if you need to indulge your fascination with the macabre, you can see the VERY NSFW picture here.

Now, what’s that we were saying about free birth control? Indeed.