It’s Official: Meghan & Harry Have Traded Monarchy for Oligarchy

Amid her bafflingly banal product launches and first screen role in nearly a decade, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex (née Markle) made time to attend—alongside the man who made her a duchess, Prince Harry—the milestone birthday party of her friend Kris Jenner. 

Meghan has long been close to the uber-rich celebrity class (Tyler Perry, net worth $1.4 billion, lent Meg and Harry a mansion after they escaped the British Isles in 2020)—but this fete seemed like her official welcoming into the circle of the offensively rich (sub-category, American), as it was hosted by Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez Bezos. Other billionaires present to celebrate the ultimate momager included Mark Zuckerberg (wearing those dorky ass Ray-Bans that creepily record everyone passing through their periphery), Jay-Z, and Oprah. Kylie Jenner was of course there but she is not a billionaire; Forbes took back its designation in 2020. (She’s still worth $670 million, though, so don’t call her a class ally yet.)

The main reports we have from the party are the paparazzi shots of the guests arriving: Harry led Meghan, holding hands, and she looked beautiful and boring, as always. Her black separates weirdly did not match, but her black velvet clutch and strappy sandals did. Harry wore a black velvet tux jacket, and a poppy pin, a traditional accessory for British royals, politicians, and conservatives to commemorate the U.K.’s Remembrance Day holiday on Nov. 11. The Daily Mail, petty and Meghan-hating as always, wrote a whole article about the fact that she was NOT wearing such a pin, to which I must remind them: She’s not actually British.

Speaking of the Mail, an article in its (un)illustrious digital pages last week cited a “royal expert” who says Meghan wants to become a billionaire. And while I am deeply skeptical of the tabloid’s obvious bias—and I firmly believe that “royal expert” is a fake job—I can’t disagree that this seems to be what Meg is positioning herself for. Besides cuddling up to notorious billionaires (see above), she’s launched her As Ever lifestyle brand in a way that seems prime for an inflated medium-term valuation, and is also herself becoming an “angel investor.” 

Meghan appears to have adapted the “let them eat cake (non-monarch version)” attitude of the people she wants to call peers. In an interview in September, Bloomberg’s Emily Chang asked Meghan if there’s anything she can’t weigh in on now because of her position. Meghan basically shrugged, saying, “No… I think if there’s anything I wanted to say or that felt necessary to say, then I would say it, but that’s not where I’m at right now. I haven’t said anything [political] since 2016.”

Interesting! I guess she got the memo from Oligarchs Anonymous reminding the super-rich (and aspiring super-rich) that criticizing Donald Trump isn’t in at the moment. What is in, though—if the president’s recent Gatsby party and Jenner’s James Bond-themed blowout are indicators—are extremely tacky, extremely expensive, well-publicized parties.

Anyway, happy 70th birthday to Kris Jenner, who doesn’t look a day over [insert age you’re supposed to look when you pay $100,000 for a facelift at age 69].

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• Presenting this headline without comment: “Unbothered Kim Kardashian shares bikini pics after failing bar exam.” [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson‘s lie detector test is delightful, which you probably expected. [Vanity Fair]
• Rose Byrne and Bobby Cannavale have been together since 2012, have two kids together, but “just haven’t gone to the courthouse yet.” Look, it’s been a busy 13 years! [People]
• The press junket for Stranger Things‘ final season is just like the show itself: weirdly drawn out. [Daily Mail]
• Jeremy Renner denied sending “pornographic images of himself” and threatening to call ICE on Chinese filmmaker Yi Zhou. [Just Jared]

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