Jessica Simpson and her NFL beau finally married yesterday at the luxurious San Ysidro Ranch resort (apparently where JFK and Jackie spent their honeymoon). Their 1-year-old son Ace was their ring bearer, their 2-year-old daughter Maxwell was their flower girl and was joined by Ashlee Simpson’s son Bronx, 5. Oh, and Jessica Simpson wore a custom Carolina Herrera dress. They told People:
Remember when
John Mayer did stand up comedy? Neither do I, but apparently he did. Well now, he is pitching a new reality TV show called
My Funny Friend—where people can nominate their funny friends for a comedy award. It sounds strange:
“His concept is: Everyone thinks they have a buddy who’s so hysterical, he or she should be in comedy. So people nominate their friends, and they go through a series of evaluations to determine if they’re actually funny or not.
“John thinks it has a great human-interest angle… It’s a show about dreams”
If you’re selling something as “a show about dreams,” you might want to just stop right there. [US]
Miley Cyrus and her friends got a tattoo in honor of her late (do we use “late” for pets?) dog Floyd. It features a “portrait” of Floyd with a speech bubble that says “wiTH A LiTTLe HELP FROm MY FWENDS”. It doesn’t look as bad as my description would let on, but it’s still pretty terrible. [
US]
- Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis attended an Indian wedding and wore some Indian garb. This is huge step up from the last time Kutcher was in Indian clothes. [Just Jared]
- Ed Sheeran is releasing an illustrated book called Ed Sheeran: A Visual Journey in October. It’s about Ed Sheeran and Ed Sheeran’s “early musical experiences and influences.” It sounds really cute! [Inquisitr]
- Columbus Short got arrested again, this time for public intoxication. 🙁 [TMZ]
- Chloë Grace Moretz says there won’t be a Kick-Ass 3 because piracy, you guys. Shame on you, pirates. [Inquisitr]
- Shemar Moore straight up flexed for the paparazzi at the beach. This is news. [Just Jared]
- Justin Bieber‘s lawyer is chalking his aggression up to drugs and alcohol use in that paparazzi assault case. [TMZ]
- Demi Lovato injured her ankle on Independence Day. ARE YOU HAPPY, AMERICA?! [Contact Music]
- Nicky Hilton has always had to earn her money. No, seriously: ”It was never an option to sit on my ass. I’ve always had to earn my own money. So many of the people I grew up with are utterly spoilt – it’s such a turn-off.” [Contact Music]
- In today’s edition of Kanye’s Concert Lecture Series, Kanye West compares himself to animals with pokey things on them: “And the photos they always take is like when that blow-fish has blown up, or when that porcupine is defending itself.” On a related note: CAN WE PLEASE START A RATE MY PROFESSOR PROFILE FOR KANYE WEST!? PLEASE!? [Complex]
Image via Getty.