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What do you do when your emotionally unstable daughter is facing prison time? Shop around a tell-all book about her drug and alcohol abuse of course! Continuing in her fine tradition of reprehensible parenting,
Dina Lohan managed to put down her morning martini long enough to spit out a few words to a ghost writer. “I blamed her friends, her career and her handlers for an [sic] newfound lifestyle of partying excessively,” the ghost says in the prologue. “Drinking, drugging and behaving irresponsibly became
Lindsay‘s way of daily living — and it tore me up inside.” [
TMZ]
The above makes revisiting
Lindsay “I-never-stood-a-chance” Lohan‘s 10-year-plan five years on even more depressing. [
E!]
If
Dina teams up with
Lindsay‘s porn double perhaps together they can come up with a bigger, better and even more appalling way to profit off the situation. [
E!]
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With a publicity campaign hell-bent on making you feel like you’ve seen the movie before it even comes out, The Weinstein Company have released a veritable flipbook of stills showing
Michelle Williams and co. giving it their all in
My Week With Marilyn. [
E!]
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John Travolta made the day of schadenfreude-loving bitches everywhere (present!) when he was denied a reservation at KFC. In the UK for some Scientology shindig, his people tried to get fancy by booking a table but were told that if John wanted his brutalized chicken chunks he’d have to wait in line just like everyone else. “To me, customers are customers, no matter who they are,” said the employee and part-time campaigner for social justice. “It doesn’t make a difference if someone is famous.” [
Page Six]
- The nursery of Beyoncé‘s unborn golden child is bigger than your apartment. Much bigger. [US]
- Forget the dramatic death of a dictator that ruled for 42 years, the real story to come out of it is that Matthew Perry predicted Gaddafi would die in 2011 — 24 years ago! [E!]
- Courtney Stodden had “so much fun” with VH1 executives when they met to discuss how they were best going to exploit her. [Radar]
- Carla Bruni celebrates naming her daughter Giulia with a smoke and a stiff drink. [US]
- Jennifer Aniston is pregnant! And it’s a girl! No doubt remains as to the status of her uterus now that she’s reportedly looking to buy a New York apartment with an existing pink nursery. [Mirror]
- Anyone want to help Matt Bomer squeeze his junk into a thong? [LA Times]
- Giuliana Rancic is doing well after her double lumpectomy. Hang in there, tigress! [NYDN]
- Joey Lawrence‘s transformation into an over-plucked rentboy is almost complete! [US]
- “Born This Way” Zombie Boy covers up his face and body tattoos with ease as part of the new DermaBlend campaign. Prematurely arthritic Kardashian make-up team weep for joy. [Daily Mail]
- Unsightly pig Miranda Kerr says she’s learned to love her “curves”. [Daily Mail]
- Charlie Sheen is going to dress up as his sexy self this Halloween. [Page Six]
- Surprise! Actresses of color have a harder time than most. [ONTD]
- You’d really expect more from her, but Lady Gaga reveals a bland tween fetish after egging her boyfriend to attend vampire-themed orgies. [The Sun]
- Gaga is also apparently in talks with James Cameron about a potential movie role. [ONTD]
- Amy Poehler‘s interview with Carol Burnett is adorable! [TV Guide]
- Appearing more like the Letterman green room by the day, Russell Brand is the latest celeb to show his solidarity down at Zuccotti Park. [Page Six]
- Carey Mulligan has been cast in the new Spike Jonze and Coen Brothers movies. Well, she has to earn a crust somehow … [Variety]
