Prince William finally succumbed to
years of unrelenting palace mockery and said haha, very funny, guys, and shaved off the last precious follicles, effectively bidding goodbye to head hair forever. For Queen and country. To accept the march of time and age. It’s never coming back. Every glance at Harry is a reminder that he will die bald.
Certain new extended family members can stop buying him “ginger hair hat”
gag gifts now. But now people are speculating that he’s
trying to outshine Harry and Meghan with his new shiny bald existence!! Which is
SO shiny!! Stop looking!
Also in Markle fan fiction, the Royal Bride continues to spit in the cold eyes of palace wedding tyrants who have previously denied her her selection of party venue. From US Weekly’s latest, via Celebitchy, she has allegedly already picked out the dress, will be doing her own menu, and “the former Suits star has a ‘huge say’ in every detail, says the source.” She may even have her own flower girl.
Also I was inclined to cheers to Kate Middleton’s gaily peeing relative, but not a nice man, Uncle Gary. Newly released from rehab after punching his wife in the face, Kate Middleton’s uncle had a “wild night out” brawlin, peeing, eating McDonald’s, boozing (possibly in that order), for no other reason than to shame the kingdom, and now The Sun has fuzzy surveillance photos which are the worst.
I hope
Justin Timberlake was prepared to stop and give Perez Hilton 50 laps around the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino grounds because in an interview with Beats 1 radio, he
dismissed the idea of a Vegas residency as “planning your retirement.” He knew full well
who he was talking about.
- The Dance Moms coach is tap dancing out of prison early on good behavior to terrorize children once more. [Deadline]
- Taylor giveth. She sent a fan flowers on her wedding day. [Teen Vogue]
- Darren Criss is engaged to Mia Swier. [People]
