Since we heard about the “manties” “trend,” we’ve thought, okay, but who would actually wear them? (Besides those e-Mancipate dudes, that is.) Well! Philadelphia magazine gives us our answer!
You can’t really blame the author, Victor Fiorillo, for enjoying the added warmth of a pair of hose in the winter. As he puts it, “tights are warmer than long johns and a perfectly practical clothing option for shivering men.” It’s not like we haven’t been doing it for years: they’re sheer, compact, easier than long-johns. Cheap, too. The issue, as everyone knows, is The Bulge. Leggings on women, after all, are acceptable to all but Gaga only when covered by a tunic-length top, and men would do well to learn this and stat.
For the man who would seek to commune with sheers, Fiorillo presents the following guidelines:
-Italian hosiery company Emilio Cavallini recently launched a line of stylish men’s tights, which you can purchase here for $27 each
-For a less expensive option, you can visit a drug or department store, where you’ll only find women’s tights. They vary in size by brand, but as a general rule of thumb, you should buy one size above the size indicated for women on the package’s height and weight chart. Don’t be offended if you’re a, um, “queen.”
-For maximum warmth, put your socks on first. The tight material will make your foot sweat, which will give you cold feet. The layer of socks in between your foot and the tight will prevent this. {Editor’s note: This is crazy talk, and obviously denotes something weird about the male foot sweat glands.}
– Keep your toenails trimmed to avoid snags and runs.
– Enlist a woman to show you the best way to get the tights on and off. They’ve been doing this for a lot longer than you have and their tight-wearing experience will make yours easier.
To this I would add, if you’re going to do this apply a fingertip rule to your tops. Please.
MANTYHOSE: In Defense Of Men In Tights [Phillymag]