Wade Into the Surf with the Tropical Treat of a Painkiller Cocktail

Sunday Cocktail Corner is a series dedicated to finding just the right libation for the situation.

For the next few days, I’ll be at the beach. Sure, it’s supposed to somehow be simultaneously in the 90s outside, and thunderstorming every day that I’ll be there, but still: the beach, rather than the home office. That’s something, right? Is there any place that Americans would associate more universally with leisure than a beach trip, even if that beach trip is in the presence of your entire extended family? And hey, at least if we’re stuck inside while torrential downpours lash the South Carolina coast, I can still explain the finer points of a classic tropical cocktail to in-laws and possibly some of the cooler nieces and nephews, if they’re not going to be total narcs about it.

But what cocktail? I feel like when people think of “beach drinks,” they picture a few things. There’s the daiquiri, which is an archetype abused to such an extent that the average person doesn’t even realize that a classic “daiquiri” is literally just rum, lime and sugar. And then there’s the ubiquitous piña colada, which even without the grating presence of the Rupert Holmes song is utterly inescapable when you’re anywhere within 50 miles of the coast. The piña colada is beloved, and I think one of the primary reasons why has always been that it simply functions well as a vessel to hide whatever booze has been put in it–classically young, unaged, relatively neutral “white” rum, or the depressing overkill that is coconut-flavored rum like Malibu, despite the fact that the drink is already made with coconut cream. You can even combine the two, as in the popular “Miami Vice,” which swirls frozen strawberry daiquiri (which is not really “a daiquiri”) and frozen piña colada together in one glass. Twice the sugar, twice the fun.

Regardless: Despite its popularity, the piña colada does not tend to be the most compelling or interesting cocktail, at least in the way it tends to be made. Instead, consider turning to its close, likewise well-liked but not as famous cousin: the painkiller cocktail. Now this is a beach drink with character, something that reads as if a mixologist took a look at a piña colada and thought “Hey, what if we used way better rum to make this?” That, and a little orange juice (and nutmeg!).

The painkiller is famously a product of the 1970s, and exists in that odd space in the tropical cocktail canon where it’s known/welcome in tiki environs, but is not really technically a tiki cocktail of the sort created by guys like Donn Beach or Trader Vic. This isn’t a stiff drink like the Zombie or the Mai Tai, but rather a warm weather cooler that is also sweeter than most classic tiki creations. It was actually created in the British Virgin Islands, on the small island of Jost Van Dyke at a beach bar still well known to this day, the Soggy Dollar Bar at White Bay, where the cocktail is still made. It also has the odd distinction of being one of the few drinks on Earth that is technically trademarked in name and recipe–Pusser’s Rum, the classic demerara (Guyanese) rum blend laid claim to it in 1989, and is still litigious about the drink to this day, much as Goslings rum is with their trademarked Dark ‘n Stormy. Technically speaking, in order to be a commercial painkiller cocktail, it must be made with Pusser’s Rum. Informally speaking, it is popular to use other rums for this, particularly blends of Jamaican and Guyana rum.

Painkiller Cocktail Recipe

— 2 oz rum (Pusser’s, or a demerara/Jamaican rum combo)
— 4 oz pineapple juice
— 1 oz orange juice
— 1 oz coconut cream (such as Coco Lopez or Coco Reàl)
— A pinch of grated nutmeg

Combine all liquid ingredients along with cubed ice in a drink tin/cocktail shaker. You’ll want one of a decent size, as this is a slightly larger volume drink. Shake vigorously to chill, then strain into a glass filled with crushed ice. Garnish with a dusting of grated/powdered nutmeg. Popular aesthetic garnishes include pineapple fronds or a pineapple wheel.

A note on the nutmeg: It’s not absolutely essential, and the drink still works fine without it, but any higher quality bar where you order a painkiller will tend to include this. It adds an ineffable spice note on the nose in particular that is hard to replicate. Note also that the cocktail is on the sweeter side, but it can be adjusted if desired with small amounts of lime juice (for more tartness) or cocktail bitters/bitter amari, if that’s more your vibe. All the pineapple/coconut in this makes it a forgiving recipe, easy to modify and tailor to your taste.

Oh to be on this beautiful beach once more. Slurping a #painkiller cocktail from the #SoggyDollar bar.
White bay on Jost van Dyke in #BVI #paradise
#Sunshine #Sea #Sand #Holiday #Vacation #Travel #BeachLife

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— HEY! (@heyineedthisnow.bsky.social) 1:20 PM · Dec 18, 2024

What I love about the painkiller is that unlike the piña colada, which is so often made with very neutral or artificially flavored spirits, there’s no sense that you’re trying to keep the rum out of sight. And what flavor notes play better with pineapple than the more caramelized sugars/roastiness/vanilla of aged rum? The orange juice? I’ll be perfectly honest; it’s never easy to really pick up or notice in a painkiller, but it’s part of the classic recipe so you throw it in, as it probably provides at least a little acidity. A well-made painkiller is just more engaging and keeps your attention better than a piña colada ever could. And it should be noted that like the piña colada, it’s a great drink to make frozen as well, which tempers the sweetness.

As the name would imply, this is a cocktail for volume consumption, for lost afternoons on the beach where you glance at your watch and realize that four hours somehow just passed. Just got in from the pounding waves? Have a painkiller. Got too sunburned and have to linger in beet red stasis under the umbrellas? Have a painkiller. Head hurts from drinking painkillers? Have you considered having a painkiller? The beach just wouldn’t be complete without it.