Paris Hilton, whose middle name is “I’m actually really shy,” would like for the world to know more things about her via a documentary about herself that, for the record, will be 100 percent real and 100 percent “unflinching.”
9.14 Pictures and XYZ Films recently announced the “authorized documentary” about the life of “businesswoman, entrepreneur, and media icon” Paris Hilton, to be directed by Don Argott and Sheena Joyce. I am already nervous about this, because they appear to have left out Paris Hilton’s other job titles, which include “award-winning DJ,” “incredible pop star,” “robbery victim,” “mother to Tinkerbell (R.I.P.)” and “former employer of Kim Kardashian.”