Radar reports that Rihanna is renting a $7 million bachelorette pad in the Hollywood Hills. Nicknamed “The Fortress,” the house is decked out in enough glass, chrome, and gray accents to fulfill anybody’s medieval nightclub dreams.
Herein, we imagine what Rih would get up to in this house, since we won’t be able to see on Instagram anymore.
This sitting room reminds me of Clue. So Rihanna would definitely host a boardgame night here, while rolling a blunt, obviously.
This Porsche Design Group kitchen would cure the munchies.
The perfect room to pretend to be Liberace.
Sex with Drake.
Nature/fitness/Japanese culture! If I lived in “The Fortress,” I would literally never have to leave the house. I’d also never use this gym.
Dungeon orgy, anyone?
Perfect for inviting a hundred of your closest friends for some hot-boxing.
Or light up outside while enjoying the view. Careful not to ash on the ground, though, Rihanna. The neighbors always know where the fire starts.
Images via Radar and Hausangeles.
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Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
