Pretty Rude That The First Dunkirk Trailer Doesn't Feature My Boyfriend Harry Styles

By Madeleine Davies  |  August 5, 2016 | 9:35pm
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The first trailer for Dunkirk—Christopher Nolan’s take on the Battle of Dunkirk, which saw the evacuation of 338,226 allied troops via the harbor of Dunkirk, France, during World War II—is appropriately harrowing. That said, it’s offensively Harry-less, not featuring a single shot of my sweet lil baby boy, Harry Styles.

Also missing from the trailer is the film’s other stars, including Tom Hardy, Mark Rylance, and Cillian Murphy—but we’re not talking about them right now, no. We’re talking about my majestic elfin prince, the one who sings like an angel and has the face of one, too. We’re talking about Harry. Where is my Harry?

He’s certainly not here and believe me, I checked.

Maybe he’s here?

Ha, I doubt it. The charisma of my young Lord Styles cannot be muted—not by 100 men and not by a million. His presence raises him up above the plebeian crowd and screams “NOTICE ME,” an order the world is eager to abide.

Heed this, Nolan: I demand to see my Harry in the next trailer and—war movie or not—there better not be a greasy hair harmed on his newly shorn head.

 
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