Sean Spicer to Cha-Cha With James Van Der Beek and Others on Dancing with the Stars

The lineup is as follows:

• The Bachelorette’s Hannah Brown
• NBA star Lamar Odom
• Queer Eye’s Karamo Brown
• James Van Der Beek
• Supermodel Christie Brinkley
• Country singer Lauren Alaina
• Ally Brooke of Fifth Harmony fame
• Former NFL star Ray Lewis
• Actor Kate Flannery
• Comedian Kel Mitchell
• The Supremes’ Mary Wilson
• Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer

I’m happy to see Hannah Brown maintain her fame post-Bachelorette (and Dancing with the Stars is much more respectable than diving straight into her future of shilling Sugar Bear Hair as an Instagram influencer)—I’m just not sure she has any rhythm. Karamo Brown will probably make it far, but who invited Sean Spicer and Ally Brooke, your fourth favorite member of Fifth Harmony? I’m worried this will be a tragic post-rehab comeback for Lamar Odom, but I’ll take it as a sign that he’s doing fine.

My vote for surprising standout has gotta go to James Van Der Beek, who played a parodied version of himself in the only television show that has ever actually brought me joy, Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23. I mention that program instead of, Dawson’s Creek or that show where he played Diplo because on Don’t Trust the B, Van Der Beek actually competes on Dancing with the Stars. What is art? What is reality? Will this finally convince me to watch a dancing program?